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Friday, February 17, 2006

Void.

Recently for no good reason, I've been kinda at a state of void.
Kinda like how you just suddenly don't want this or want that.
Things you'd never have thought you'd not want, things you've never thought you want.
And that feeling just sucks totally when part of you really does understand the realities of life, how you'd never get certain stuff.

And as depressing as the whole situation is at the moment, I've actually gotten accustomed to it.
I've gotten used to it all.
The inability to change anything.
My general lack of optimism for the whole 'case'.
Everything's kinda numbed me.
And what bothers me the most it that I'm actually ok with it.

Like some sort of resignation for what's given.
Even after so long.
I can't believe this actually took up almost seven whole years of my life.
Yet, still I go to sleep with it anchoring my thoughts.
With it I awake to a new day, with old thoughts.

Alas, as what Mother Nature shows us, she does not like voids.
She fills them with flowers, with trees, with a swamp, a wasteland even.
Anything but something devoid of all possibilities or hope even.

Similarly goes for us, the creation of Mother Nature.
We don't leave any loose ends unknotted.
At least we try not to.
So we fill our innermost voids with the most ridiculous of things, school, cca,play,dota,shoes,shopping,eating,pinkies....

Which works to some point, since all 'activities' mentioned DO take up quite a bit of grey matter and precious ol' time. But kinda intriguing what would happen to us after the 'replacements' wear and tear with time, after time fades them all, after the truth resurfaces and we'd be forced to look at this void in the eye.

Now for some anal reason I suddenly thought of the Central Problem of Economics being the problem of Scarcity. How people have unlimited wants, impossible to be fulfilled due to the limited amount of resources. (SEE, I KNOW MY WORK. HAH!)

When one void's filled,another just 'forms'.
When that's filled, yet others form.
And so on and so on.

Deep inside all of us is a void that yearns to be filled by someone or something special.
If that void remains empty, we fill it with other things. Useful or not.

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10:22 pm