CREDITS
designer:haryani
Monday, September 12, 2005
Crap.
It seems so long since my last post.
Guess I just got carried away with the past events of last week.
Nothing much actually, attempt to mug, fail to mug, try to mug later but never really got to it,shop,shop,and shop-but-don't-buy-anything-cos'-I'm-SO-Kiam,friend going off,crap,and crap, and crap,hockey,pain,pain,pain.
Man, this was like my worst holiday of all my 17 years.
Then again, any holiday would beat school(lessons).
Haha.
I think by now everyone should get the idea that I don't like something in my school.
But I love just about everything else.
Yup yup.
I love school but I hate my_ _ _ _ _.
The other day I was just talking to a very dear friend(Angel) , talking about how much fun we used to have, how promos are real scary,our fear of not being promoted, what we MUST do to not render us that horrid fate of not being promoted (we're both proud people u see) and how much I detest going back to school .
Maybe it's overactive tearducts or hyper sensitive emotions late at night, but I seriously think I almost cried.
Yay, I'm weak.
Almost crying over dumb stuff like bitching politics which I don't seem to able to master, not that I ever wanted to anyway. Meaness of that level is simply inborn.
Another friend then told me that perhaps bitching is part and parcel of CJ's school culture. And simply because not everyone is a bitch there I defended my school. I mean, I must admit I have a tendency to be SUPER loyal to whatever is linked in a positive way to me,even to the extent of blind loyalty. But that was because the previous stuff that I was linked to were all GOOD(yes I'm emphasizing on this) freaking fun places/people lah. And even though I'm like always subtlely hinting what I'm unhappy about in my school, not everyone is like that.
Nice,unbitching,easy going ,lame,normal human beings like you and me DO exist in CJ.
Just not where I spend most of my time in school.
Like yippee~
Haiz~This post actually was more for myself, cos' I really think I ought to do some depression managing stuff before I contemplate doing something really stupid like purposely flunking my promos cos' I don't like my class, cos' I want to be kicked out and not disappoint my parents with the whole "SHE-CAN-BUT-SHE-DOESN'T-WANT-TO" trauma. Dunno how much sense that made, but at a particular time it did make some sense.
Or that I was contemplating becoming one of those nameless asshole who go about flaming everyone who pisses me off .
My.
That would REALLY be silly now wouldn't it?
lalalalalala~
But it's stupid lah, throwing away my future away just cos' I can't be melted in the pot. Throwing away my moral values,conscience, or even my own pride because I can't get used to the fact that there ARE lies about me spreading .
I really ought to thank these people for making me the centre of their lives though.
lalalalalala~
And I just realised my subtle hints aren't so subtle now.
Like Opps?
haha~
Not that I really care about it anyway.
:)
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