CREDITS
designer:haryani
Damn thick skin lah this woman!! But the real reason why I divulge Angel's commonly known secret was cos' I admire it. We’re proud people. We refuse to judge ourselves based on what others think. We’re thick-skinned, stubborn and ignorant. But we’re fine with that. Cos’ that’s who we are. Why should you feed of the poison from the clowns’ words?
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Ok?
I seriously wonder what's wrong with me these days.
First I swear that I DIE also must pass my promos, the next I'm off taking a quick shut eye which always ends up 5x the amount I wanted.
The next, I'm off being a Cheena pirate, all cos' I JUST discovered how 'useful' Baidu is in beefing up my mP3 collection. (yeah lah, I also know I'm slow~)
ooohh~~I'm getting so cheena-piang these days.
Which isn't a bad thing considering Chinese AO's are RIGHT after promos.
As for my promos so far....divine intervention is still very much appreciated.
But on top of that, I think what I'll need the most now, is abang's mercy~~~~~~~
Damn I sound pathetic.
ButIdunwananaaaaretainandhaveanotherfreakingyearatcjasajc1~
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1:38 pm
Monday, September 26, 2005
Standing In Line.
by Rooster.
I spent a lifetime searching
For what I thought I'd found
But you're just the same
It's still a losing game
I'm a face out of the crowd
You love and you leave
Yeah you lie and deceive
How can you sleep at night?
Say you're just having fun
We all think we're the one
What you're doing
Just aint right
I can't do it
I won't say it
My heart is breaking but I won't let you know
I can't show it
I won't loose it
My bodies shaking and I'm ready to roll
Am I just standing in line
Are you just wasting my time
So you're just an illusion
Breathing the best of me
Got games to slow me down
Stop messing me around
Thought you were here to set me free
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8:40 pm
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Hate.
I feel like I'm drained of all happiness.
I hate promos.
Damn I hate the word hate.
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12:34 am
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Minority
by Green Day.
I want to be the minority
I don't need your authority
Down with the moral majority
'Cause I want to be the minority
I pledge allegiance to the underworld
One nation under dog
There of which I stand alone
A face in the crowd
Unsung, against the mold
Without a doubt
Singled out
The only way I know
I want to be the minority
I don't need your authority
Down with the moral majority
'Cause I want to be the minority
Stepped out of the line
Like a sheep runs from the herd
Marching out of time
To my own beat now
The only way I know
One light, one mind
Flashing in the dark
Blinded by the silence of a thousand broken hearts
"For crying out loud" she screamed unto me
A free for all
Fuck 'em all
You are your own sight
I want to be the minority
I don't need your authority
Down with the moral majority
'Cause I want to be the minority
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11:35 am
Monday, September 19, 2005
No lie.
You know how depressing it is to see perfectly fine, nice, supportive ,lame ,gentle ,kind, lame, talented, smart, friendly, talkative, nice, funny, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame. (Did I mention lame? ) friends of your's having such low levels of self esteem or pride in their own selves..
I really don't understand how they couldn't see beyond what society and those shallow ding dongs deem as 'SUCCESSFUL' and see their real beauty, see their true strengths and accept themselves for who they are.
TO HELL with what other people think.
They don't matter!!
If they do, they'll probably accept you while poking fun at one once in a blue moon, all in the name of fun I'm sure.
You know what was one of best pieces of advice I've ever received?
It was from my secondary 2 history teacher, Mrs Tay.
"Being thick skinned is not necessary a bad thing.
It's what protects you from the attacks of those clowns out there.
So if some weird lao ticko stares at you, don't be scared!
Be thicked skinned ,stare back and tell him ," KUA SI MI ?!" "
Lol~
I'll never forget that.
I bet none of the 2e1-ers did forget that too.
Another prim example of thickskinnity (an index of how thick skinned one is) is of course our very dear Angel! (Because she's so technologically slow to be bothered to read ol' humble blog of mine, heck her lah hoh. lol~)
Now Angel isn't exactly what you'd call the most modest person around.
Neither is she the smartest or the most righteous person in this part of Singapore.
But what Angel has is GREAT love for herself.
Ask her, "ehhhh, this one how to do hur?"
Angel : "Liddat loh." *shows how she's done it.
Me : "Eh, answer different leh. "
Angel: "IS IT?! Must be they wrong loh, cos I THINK I'm correct."
Me : ".................."
But good thing she used the word “THINK”
Personal opinion mah~
She has real pride in all that she does, no matter how feeble a result or what others make of it.
Not only so, she holds her head up higher then any of those 180++ about to be 190 cm tall dudes, facing all that’s to come readily.
In fact, we embrace it.
Why should you allow them to succeed in breaking you down?
Why should you even be bothered by what others’ think?
Or what they view as succees?
What they see as good?
They’re no GOD, they’re by no means controllers of our lives and they shouldn’t be!
Who ever said to conform to society’s standards of beauty or succees or happiness equates to being happy?
I’ve always like this line which I quote from Marcus (Lim, BHSS) from his display name after the release of the O’s results. (That was until he became his old self and went back to those love sick lines lah.)
“THE WORLD HASN’T SEEN WHAT WE’RE TRULY CAPABLE OF YET.”
And I believe that.
We have SO much ahead of us.
Would be a real shame to see a work of art be thrown into a rubbish chute just cos’ it’s value isn’t realized yet eh?
Never thought I’d say this, but from this morning’s prayer (Catholic school wad, what to expect) , ”It is during our darkest moments of despair whereby our true abilities are shone.”
Who would have thought those early morning mumblings actually made some sense?!?
Ignorance is bliss.
Now that.
Ain’t no lie.
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9:59 pm
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
White GOOEY
I'm fuming!!
Today, right after bio lecture I went straight to homeroom and I plonked my butt on the chair without a second thought cos' I was SO damn sian-ed diao-ed by the whole carbon cycle, nitrogen cycle and other stuff which I SO happened to not catch.
I mean, I'm so accustomed to just plonk on my chair and take a quick shut eye before the next lesson that I so conviently FORGOT to check my chair for any unwanted EW matter on it.
And when I stood again to greet the next teacher, my friend told me that there was SOMETHING on my skirt.
Checked and OMG it's bird shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
White, googey,sticky,smelly,eeky,yucky BIRD SHIT.
Thank goodness it came off easily with water, otherwise I swear I'd &*(&%%$%@# that bird!
And worst.
That &*$%&$%^*( bird poked this HUGE hole in my bread.
Wah lau eh.
That was my breakfirst/lunch leh!
)_(*^&^#$%# birds.
There.
People, before plonking your butt on ANYTHING, check that it does not have any unwanted yucky white bird egested carbon matter.
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8:09 pm
Monday, September 12, 2005
Crap.
It seems so long since my last post.
Guess I just got carried away with the past events of last week.
Nothing much actually, attempt to mug, fail to mug, try to mug later but never really got to it,shop,shop,and shop-but-don't-buy-anything-cos'-I'm-SO-Kiam,friend going off,crap,and crap, and crap,hockey,pain,pain,pain.
Man, this was like my worst holiday of all my 17 years.
Then again, any holiday would beat school(lessons).
Haha.
I think by now everyone should get the idea that I don't like something in my school.
But I love just about everything else.
Yup yup.
I love school but I hate my_ _ _ _ _.
The other day I was just talking to a very dear friend(Angel) , talking about how much fun we used to have, how promos are real scary,our fear of not being promoted, what we MUST do to not render us that horrid fate of not being promoted (we're both proud people u see) and how much I detest going back to school .
Maybe it's overactive tearducts or hyper sensitive emotions late at night, but I seriously think I almost cried.
Yay, I'm weak.
Almost crying over dumb stuff like bitching politics which I don't seem to able to master, not that I ever wanted to anyway. Meaness of that level is simply inborn.
Another friend then told me that perhaps bitching is part and parcel of CJ's school culture. And simply because not everyone is a bitch there I defended my school. I mean, I must admit I have a tendency to be SUPER loyal to whatever is linked in a positive way to me,even to the extent of blind loyalty. But that was because the previous stuff that I was linked to were all GOOD(yes I'm emphasizing on this) freaking fun places/people lah. And even though I'm like always subtlely hinting what I'm unhappy about in my school, not everyone is like that.
Nice,unbitching,easy going ,lame,normal human beings like you and me DO exist in CJ.
Just not where I spend most of my time in school.
Like yippee~
Haiz~This post actually was more for myself, cos' I really think I ought to do some depression managing stuff before I contemplate doing something really stupid like purposely flunking my promos cos' I don't like my class, cos' I want to be kicked out and not disappoint my parents with the whole "SHE-CAN-BUT-SHE-DOESN'T-WANT-TO" trauma. Dunno how much sense that made, but at a particular time it did make some sense.
Or that I was contemplating becoming one of those nameless asshole who go about flaming everyone who pisses me off .
My.
That would REALLY be silly now wouldn't it?
lalalalalala~
But it's stupid lah, throwing away my future away just cos' I can't be melted in the pot. Throwing away my moral values,conscience, or even my own pride because I can't get used to the fact that there ARE lies about me spreading .
I really ought to thank these people for making me the centre of their lives though.
lalalalalala~
And I just realised my subtle hints aren't so subtle now.
Like Opps?
haha~
Not that I really care about it anyway.
:)
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8:05 pm
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Um.
I just received a revelation today.
The smartest people in this world aren't the brightest people in the world, but the brightest people who act like they're real stupid.
I mean, think about it. All they have to do is burp out a "I DuNnO lEiiiii" (is that correct?) and viola! They've won the pity of the kindest amongst us and everything's solved.
That is of course if kind people even exist LAH.
And here's the other side to the very same revelation - the smartest people in this world are those stuck in Woodbridge/any other mental institutions.
Einstein probably would have landed there too if he made more public appearances.
lalalalalalalala~
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7:23 pm
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Auguries of Innocence
by William Blake.
To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
A robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage.
A dove-house filled with doves and pigeons
Shudders hell through all its regions.
A dog starved at his master's gate
Predicts the ruin of the state.
A horse misused upon the road
Calls to heaven for human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted hare
A fibre from the brain does tear.
A skylark wounded in the wing,
A cherubim does cease to sing.
The game-cock clipped and armed for fight
Does the rising sun affright.
Every wolf's and lion's howl
Raises from hell a human soul.
The wild deer wandering here and there
Keeps the human soul from care.
The lamb misused breeds public strife,
And yet forgives the butcher's knife.
The bat that flits at close of eve
Has left the brain that won't believe.
The owl that calls upon the night
Speaks the unbeliever's fright.
He who shall hurt the little wren
Shall never be beloved by men.
He who the ox to wrath has moved
Shall never be by woman loved.
The wanton boy that kills the fly
Shall feel the spider's enmity.
He who torments the chafer's sprite
Weaves a bower in endless night.
The caterpillar on the leaf
Repeats to thee thy mother's grief.
Kill not the moth nor butterfly,
For the Last Judgment draweth nigh.
He who shall train the horse to war
Shall never pass the polar bar.
The beggar's dog and widow's cat,
Feed them, and thou wilt grow fat.
The gnat that sings his summer's song
Poison gets from Slander's tongue.
The poison of the snake and newtIs the sweat of Envy's foot.
The poison of the honey-bee
Is the artist's jealousy.
The prince's robes and beggar's rags
Are toadstools on the miser's bags.
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so:
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know
Through the world we safely go.
Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The babe is more than swaddling bands,
Throughout all these human lands;
Tools were made and born were hands,
Every farmer understands.
Every tear from every eye
Becomes a babe in eternity;
This is caught by females bright
And returned to its own delight.
The bleat, the bark, bellow, and roar
Are waves that beat on heaven's shore.
The babe that weeps the rod beneath
Writes Revenge! in realms of death.
The beggar's rags fluttering in air
Does to rags the heavens tear.
The soldier armed with sword and gun
Palsied strikes the summer's sun.
The poor man's farthing is worth more
Than all the gold on Afric's shore.
One mite wrung from the labourer's hands
Shall buy and sell the miser's lands,
Or if protected from on high
Does that whole nation sell and buy.
He who mocks the infant's faith
Shall be mocked in age and death.
He who shall teach the child to doubt
The rotting grave shall ne'er get out.
He who respects the infant's faith
Triumphs over hell and death.
The child's toys and the old man's reasons
Are the fruits of the two seasons.
The questioner who sits so sly
Shall never know how to reply.
He who replies to words of doubt
Doth put the light of knowledge out.
The strongest poison ever known.
Came from Caesar's laurel crown.
Nought can deform the human race
Like to the armour's iron brace.
When gold and gems adorn the
To peaceful arts shall Envy bow.
A riddle or the cricket's cry
Is to doubt a fit reply.
The emmet's inch and eagle's mile
Make lame philosophy to smile.
He who doubts from what he sees
Will ne'er believe, do what you please.
If the sun and moon should doubt,
They'd immediately go out.
To be in a passion you good may do,
But no good if a passion is in you.
The whore and gambler, by the state
Licensed, build that nation's fate.
The harlot's cry from street to street
Shall weave old England's winding sheet.
The winner's shout, the loser's curse,
Dance before dead England's hearse.
Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born.
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.
Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.
We are led to believe a lie
When we see not through the eye
Which was born in a night to perish in a night,
When the soul slept in beams of light.
God appears, and God is light
To those poor souls who dwell in night,
But does a human form display
To those who dwell in realms of day.
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11:29 pm