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designer:haryani
Saturday, July 30, 2005
ARGH.
WHY IS EVERYONE BLOGGING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED IN HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOODED PRINCE?????
DON'T THEY KNOW THAT INTELLIGENT PEOPLE LIKE ME HAVEN'T READ IT YET!?!?!
FYI, I just saw the Order Of The Phoenix at $7.
Altogether now, SCREAM!!!!!!
I paid a blooody close to 50 bucks for that book and now it's going at $7 ???!??!!!??
STOP RAVING AND DETAILING ABOUT HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOODED PRINCE !!!!
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2:33 pm
Friday, July 29, 2005
Smiley Orange Bandage.
I'm feeling a sense of loss.
Loss of blood that is.
Yesterday there was a blood donation drive at CJ.
So, in order to escape from this weird Maths tutor who came to replace my home tutor, and to get a free analysis of my blood (I don't know my blood group. Laugh all you want. HAR!) .
RIGHT.
No lah, I'm not that shallow.
Went to donate blood cos' I thought someone out there might really need the blood that I have plenty of. I mean, if it was me lying on some over-sanitized bed praying for some kind soul out that to give me blood, it must really suck.
Not to mention, a part of me is going for the experience itself.
And it was pretty systematic. There were about 5 stations, 1st one to get yourself registered, 2nd one to have your blood pressure measured and do some health questionnaire. 3rd to test your haemoglobin level , 4th to donate your blood, and lastly , the 5th station for refreshments!
I was kinda worried about stuff like would my blood pressure be too low? Or too high? Would my haemoglobin levels be sufficient to provide for another? Well, the blood pressure and haemoglobin part was alright. But about the other contents of my blood.....well, that'll come afew weeks later. My friend, Xiao Ying, said that they'll tell you your blood group...platelet level...whether you have any disease that you don't know about...or whether are you HIV-positive...yadah..yadah...
Dunno about that, but Angel's kinda looking forward to knowing my blood group for some reason. Hmmm.....from what I've learnt in O'level biology....I'm most definitely,confirm NOT O.
Then again, that is if my parents are my biological parents ,which I think they are~ -.-"
If you didn't take bio, it's a long story. HAHA.
So yep, it was painless most of the time, with an exception of the Anastasia injection,which felt more like an ant bite. A loooooooooong ant bite.
Then we just laid there for about half an hour , squeezing this stress ball, which I think is to apply more pressure to bloodflow, so as to speed up the blood donation process.
When everything's done, we get to choose the color of bandage we want around our arm! There was Pink with purple hearts( URGH) , Green with dinosaurs( which look like frogs some certain angles), Yellow with bumble bees(I think) , Purple with a pattern I didn't get a good look of, and Orange with smiley faces all over it!
I got the orange one, cos it was right next to my side of the 4th station, so it's more convenient for the nurse to just take Orange. Also, I love the smiley faces! They're so happy! Not to mention they give me this GREAT sense of accomplishment for no apparent reason.
They also gave us this cute red cap saying "SPH RED BLOOD DONATION DRIVE" or something along those lines, which totally destroyed the whole cap. And I was considering wearing it to NDP! lol~
But, the biggest turn off from the whole blood donation thingy was the fact that my blood flow seemed to be cut off after the blood donation, so my arm felt pretty limp and a little painful to straighten. And I think I was the only person which such a problem . Another thing, was this HUGE ORH-CHEH I had this morning(and even now) which looks like I've been abused or something. Again,I was the only person which such a huge ORH-CHEH~
Grace and Angel suggested that it could be due to small capilaries . Dunno.
They're from St John right? So guess it should be true.
Yup yup, blood donation's real interesting. I'll go for another one perhaps in October. That's the recommended month for the next donation anyway.
Guess that's my loss.
But another's gain could maybe mean a greater gain for me instead.
Smilely Orange Bandage.
:)
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9:53 pm
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Hypocritical Crap.
Everyone's going on about ending this hypocritical crap.
Liars biting off liars' backs.
Losers losing their temper.
Sometimes I wonder why they even put so much effort into getting angry, expressing that anger, does something stupid and that's it. Sure, call it anger management whatever, but really, does it help anyone , or more importantly, themselves ?
Hypocrites exist for a reason. To keep you from the sad truth of what they really thing of you , irregardless, or with regard to who you are , of what you did to them, or perhaps it's just the way you carry yourself.
Have you ever thought about diplomatic discussions and repercussions?
Why do they go so smoothly?
Cos' diplomats are taught to be hypocritical.
Would be an embarrassment to have a hysterical man screaming he doesn't like spinach during an international conference now wouldn't it?
tsk tsk.
And people spend their whole lives fighting hypocritism.
I bet their hypocrites themselves.
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7:15 pm
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Aftermath.
Parents Teachers meeting later on.
Not really worried or full of anticipation of anything.
Afterall, the whole world knows why I got such shitty grades,naturally I wouldn't be so lame as to not tell my parents about them.
Not to mention how lame is it to sit in front of your home tutor with your head facing the ground while she rattles off about how lousy your grades are to your parents who'll look like they gonna get fits or something ?
So yup yup, I rather I tell them first.
Not suprisingly, my mum just gave me a blank look and said, " who call you don't study?" .
ta-dah.
lol~
My mum's cool man~
So yep, waiting for her to get over her make-up regime.
Takes HOURS I tell you.
Ah...after PTM, I'm just gonna remain in school until the NDP thingy again.
Thank goodness XY leant me something to read on Wednesday~
lalalalala~
Anyway, it's rumoured that we'll FINALLY get to play with the REAL fabric of the nation later on. Dunno about the others, but I'm kinda excited about it :D
Maybe it's because today's crowd would NOT be p5 kids!!!!
HURRAY!!!
Then again. MAYBE.
Hmmm.....yesterday's training was...welll...stressful but not killer.
Not physically torturing but more mentally I guess.
Manjit was screaming and yelling at everyone to go left, block the right, put more pressure, cover each other.....yadah yadah....STRESSSSSSS MAN~~~~~
But it was fun nevertheless.
Taught Michelle and Jeslyn a damn bimbotic cheer Rachel taught me, and Mich and Jes taught be this realllly cute Banana song. Different from the one every uniform group loves to sing lah.
Yup yup, had alot of fun during training today, cos Manjit was late! HAHA~But he paid back his absence with his screamings lah~
After training, Michelle, Jeslyn and I went to NS for dinner.
Then just walked around NS randomly when I spotted You Wei, Siok Ting, Evelyn ,Marcus and a whole bunch of ex-balestierians!
Haha~
Nice to see them again..
Anway, Mich and Jes are real nice to hang out with, they're LAME!
My type of people yeah!
lol~
Maybe I'm not as out-of-place as I thought.
Hur.
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12:48 pm
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Imperfection.
by the Tears.
You grow your nails too long
There's scratches on your arms
You taste like orange chocolate
You always put your hands in my pockets
Your teeth are not quite straight
Your mood swings oscillates
Your language is appalling
And you play with my hair in the morning
Your imperfections are so beautiful
I can't control my animal soul
Your imperfections have got me on a chain
Can't concentrate
I'm a sucker for your beautiful mistakes
And sometimes when we kiss
You touch my fingertips
Synthetic words can't hide me
Passion creeps like death inside me
And slowly we become one
We stick like chewing gum
I want your language to be appalling
I want you to play with my hair in the morning
Your imperfections are so beautiful
I can't control my animal soul
Your imperfections have got me on a chain
Can't concentrate
I'm a sucker for your beautiful mistakes
Your imperfections are so beautiful
I can't control my animal soul
Your imperfections have got me on a chain
Can't concentrate
Your imperfections make you what you are
My defective star
My inelegant love
Your imperfections are so beautiful
I'm out of control
I'm a sucker for the defects in your, your soul
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10:59 pm
Sunday, July 17, 2005
No matter.
Am I like the only idiot who didn't pre-order Harry Potter and the half blooded prince??
Does that render 'idiotic' behavior??
My hands are itching and aching for a copy of that ever evasive Harry Potter 6.
Wouldn't it be nice to escape into a little bit of magical fantasy while stuck in this sickening truth?
SIGH~
All for the sake of 30 buckarooos.
I mean really.
Everytime a new Harry Potter book is available for pre-ordering, I'd bet that I was one of those SUPER early birds to order pay stupidly pay close to 50 buckaroos for that copy.
Next, I'll devour that book in less then 24 hours.
3 months later, the price of the book plummets to less then 20 bucks.
WHAT THE HELL.
So, this time, I refuse to allow myself to be cheated of my hard begged 30 dollars.
No matter how much other people are raving about it.
No matter how much I yearn to devour yet another Harry Potter book.
At this very minute, I'd bet that the slower readers are reading The Half blooded prince.
SLOW.
If I had the book I'll be finished with it already!
HAH!
Anyway, yesterday's NDP preview 2 was FUN!
haha~
Got swapped to group 3, stand 3 this week.
Seems like I'm switching groups every week. Wait. I am~
But I'm cool with it, new groups mean new people right? Absolutely!
I meet quite alot of new fellow CJCians and surprisingly, they're freverent readers of Harry Potter,ex-NPCCians, friends of my other friends, dog lovers,future alumni of the same school [one gal, Jolene's from Monk's Hill Sec]..yadah yadah!
Singapore's such a small place isn't it?
So we chatted all through the time we had to slack before our turn to appear on the Padang.
Anyway, yesterday's crowd was yet another group of p5s.
But they're surprisingly more well-behaved and less idiotic.
Perhaps it's because my brother wasn't one of them but one of the idiotic ones of last week.
Andre actually did the whole 'put Nokia handphone replica-torch on cap gimmick' and the 'hold on to the cloth tightly' 'game' and most annoying of all...'STOMP on places which say "DON'T STOMP!" ' .
My brother.
Tsk tsk.
But in another way, yesterday's kids aren't all that nice too.
While we were waiting on the steps for our turn to go to the highest stand, St Stephen boys threw all sorts of graffiti,crepe paper, once even fired a cracker into my eye.
BOYS.
If they're not acting dumb, they are actually being dumb.
Oh yeah, yesterday's cloth was wet and smellier then usual, guess that's why the kids didn't grab it for too long.
A group's cloth got twisted on it's way down.
Group 15 if I remember clearly.
And they're at one of the shortest stands lah!
FYI, short stands are MUCH easier to handle cos the crowd's significantly smaller.
1-5 are scary.
6-11 are so-so.
12-15 are EASY lah.
So the Rear Admiral commented about the twisted cloth and all of us had to stay back after the whole parade's over and all the p5s are gone before being 'debriefed' .
It was more like a "DON'T DO IT AGAIN' speech lah.
Nevertheless, had fun.
And once again, if that's the case.
Nothing else matters.
Nothing.
Really.
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7:25 pm
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Staring At The Sun
by rooster.
Daylight on my shoulder
Makes me feel alive
You kept me standing in your shadow
And it's a cold cold place to hide
I'm running away from this messed up place
I'm breaking free, yeah yeah
I'm tired of staring at the sun
Can't stand the way you put my eyes so I can't see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don't need this kind of light coz now I'm done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
I know you won't leave me
But just turn and walk away
I'm tired of when you kick me around
Trying to kill my dreams and break me down
But I won't hang around
I'm running away from this messed up place
I'm breaking free, yeah yeah
I'm tired of staring at the sun
Can't stand the way you put my eyes so I can't see
Stealing every breath I breathe
You push me into overdrive
And I don't need this kind of light coz now I'm done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
I was staring at the sun
Daylight on my shoulder
I know its time to run
Yes I know its time to run
I'm tired of staring at the sun
Can't stand the way you put my eyes so I can't see
Stealing every breath I breathe (stealing every breath I breathe)
You push me into overdrive
And I don't need this kind of light coz now I'm done
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
Yeah, yeah staring at the sun
You took everything while I was staring at the sun
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11:47 pm
Wrong.
I don't belong to my class.
I don't belong to any group/gang/clique in my class.
I don't belong to no one.
It's like I have some disease or something.
There's just this invisible wall between them and me.
I think they know it too.
But out of courtesy they don't do much about it except employ the, "if you don't bother me, I won't bother you" ideology.
I don't know whether am I over-sensitive or something, but if you've known me for some time, you should know I'm not.
I can tell.
I used it before, as much as I'd hate to admit.
And only now do I realize how much that sucks.
And I'm really very sorry about that...
Guess that's my retribution or something.
But I'm cool with it.
No point flaring over a bunch of people who refuse to know me or think they do.
No point getting pissed off by something that wasn't done by them.
Actually that's exactly what it is. NOTHING.
You know, sometimes it's really difficult to remember to ask yourself what went wrong. Not others. Yourself.
We're all so caught up with our own life that I guess everyone just sorta unconsciously assumes that what others have done is wrong, not themselves.
So I really wonder what did I do wrongly.
Was it the way I like to comment about everything?
Was it the way I can't help but eavesdrop into other peoples' conversations then comment again?
Was it the way how I'm always 'enthu' for everything?
Was it the way I suan others so frequently?
God knows.
But I'm not Him.
If anyone was pissed off by me, why can't they just say so ?
How else would I know??
And it's just my class.
My CCA friends are great.
My NDP friends are real nice.
Even my OG friends are more affable towards me.
So what the hell is wrong with me?
I don't bitch about others behind their backs.
I don't steal.
I don't murder.
I don't dao.
I don't zhi bi.
I don't lian.
I don't bimbo.
I don't do drugs.
I don't sprout vulgarities as much as I could have.
I eat my vegetables.
What is wrong with me?
Frankly, this insecurities shit is eating me.
Pity it doesn't take fats.
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11:04 pm
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
NDP Preview 1.
My shoulder blade aches like hell.
Must be those P5s from last Saturday.
Hyper like hell.
Oh yeah.
Forgot to update about that.
I'm participating in this year's NDP.
Nothing much, just yank a piece of cloth over everyone's head, hoping I don't trip over thier bags or the steps, and screaming at )(*&^% kids not to hold on to the cloth.
To be more specific, I'll be involved in this year's NDP's finale.
Sounds damn fancy and grand eh? FINALE~~
Lame segement meant to instil another bang of patriotisim.
And that cloth I'm supposed to yank over everyone's head is the fabric of the nation.
To be honest, I haven't seen it before since we've been practising with dummy cloths only.
And I doubt it'll be those you see at Toa Payoh HDB headquarters.
The dude in charge of us said something about heartlanders finger printing or something.
Don't know, can't remember.
Anyway, it's pretty fun.
Every Saturday we'll have a SBS bus sending us from CJ to the padang where we'll slack for about 5 hours , eat stale food for dinner, have some pretty good views of the jets,helicopters and all. Not to mention.............FIREWORKS!!!! hahaha~
yeah~I'm the fireworks girl~
hahahahaha~
Anyway, last Saturday I was at the first NDP preview. For p5s.
They're a NIGHTMARE lah!
They were running here and there and EVERYWHERE .
Playing catching behind the stands, stomping up and down the temporary stairs when a sign so obviously stated, "PLEASE DO NOT STOMP FEET ON STAIRS" and there was a LARGE queue outside the 5 makeshift toilets behind the stand.
So my group went up to the 4th stand (which we're assigned to)from the left side of the centre stage. At the 4th stand, highest seats, were 2 army dudes,3 teachers and 3 Pei Chun Primary girls.
The girls were so hyper lah~
They were screaming and cheering and singing and chit chatting- all at the same time.
Don't ask me how. I was kinda amazed myself.
They asked me what, SECONDARY school am I from.
I didn't know I look that young.
lol~
Anyway, it was real nice talking to them while sorting the dummy cloth out.
And the army dudes were laughing when I was caught in the middle of the stand quite confused as to which side of the cloth should be yanked over first cos' there was a miscommunication towards the yanking of cloth part. Lame dudes, just sat there and laugh, didn't even help. *(&%^@#
Read. DUMMY cloth. No indicators, no patterns, no nothing.
It's just this stinky pale yellow cloth which smelt of hamster's dung.
Anyway, it's real fun yanking the cloth over people.
But they had to raise thier arms and since we were told to make the cloth taut ABOVE thier heads, all of us were holding the cloth real high lah. Some of my group memebers even had to tip toe in order to make sure the cloth's above the spectators' heads.
Also, on our way down, some (&*^$@# kids held onto the cloth tightly, so the cloth wouldn't leave their hands. I had to scream at them to let it go lah. But I was polite. I said PLEASE.
Alot of us also almost tripped over the steps/bags/garbage bags cos the force of the kids pulling the cloth was too strong for all 8 of us, GIRLS.
Girl Power man!
Oh yeah. I'll post some of the pics my friend took during the NDP some other day.
There's plenty of time for that anyway.
I bet that by the time it's the real NDP all of those involved would have memorised the whole show already~
Not that I mind, as long as I'm enjoying myself, what does?
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9:56 pm
You Belong in New York City
You're an energetic, ambitious woman.
And only NYC is fast enough for you.
Maybe you'll set yourself up with a killer career
Or simply take in all the city has to offer
What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.
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8:23 pm
Sunday, July 10, 2005
In This World (Murder)
by Good Charlotte.
In this world all of our sins are simple
We choose death over innocent life
And in this world it's not our money that's evil
It's the ones who choose it over life
And in my heart I can not believe in this murder
And I will not be fed by the lies, or the life
That is created
Just to be murdered, it's murder
No matter how hard they try it
And no matter how loud they cry
They can't buy their way into heaven
No matter how hard they try it
And no matter how hard they climb up the ladder
They won't reach up into heaven
And they can't see the innocent lives
The pointless suffering
And in my heart i wanna undo this murder
And give back the innocent life
Open cages and stop their luxurious murder, it's murder
No matter how hard they try it
And no matter how loud they cry
They can't buy their way into heaven
No matter how hard they try it
And no matter how hard they climb up the ladder
They won't reach up into heaven
Murder-
Innocent life
Innocent-
What have we done?
No mercy for beautiful
Money for blood, is murder
No matter how hard they try it
And no matter how hard they climb up the ladder
They won't reach up into heaven
No matter how hard they try it
And no matter how loud they cry
They can't buy their way into heaven
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8:17 pm
Saturday, July 09, 2005
You.
You're begining to feel more and more isolated from this new environment of yours.
At the begining it wasn't too bad cos' you could tell yourself "it's just the beginning", but now, it isn't the begining.
By now you're supposed to be more at ease with your new environment and the people around you.
But no.
You're not feeling how you're supposed to be.
You're not used to being the quiet one.
You're not used to be the one ignored.
You used to be the life of the group.
But that group's no longer where you've gone.
You like to voice out.
You have ALOT of opinions.
But none are heard.
And you wonder if you're speaking too softly.
You have lots of friends.
A tight group of super close ones.
You just saw them less then 12 hours ago.
But you feel like crying.
Very badly.
Cos' they reminded you of how much you miss them.
Cos' they reminded you of how much you need them.
But you couldn't tell.
Precisely because of how much they mean to you.
Because you don't know how.
And all of the sudden, every single sad song you know of makes sense.
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11:45 am
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Bliss.
Bliss.
There are so many types of bloggers out there.
I'm just one of them.
But do you know what type of blogger I am?
I'm the evil one.
I'd rant and bitch about invisible people who wouldn't have a clue what I'm bitching about. Then the next day I'll see them and I'd smile and pretend like I'm some sort of saint who miraculously forgives them of all their misgivings.
Frankly, I don't forgive. I forget.
I'm not as nice as I'd like to be to forgive, so I choose to forget.
And no. I don't bad about it.
Why should I ?
Morality is based on each individual's values, not society's.
Society lies to get their ulterior motive accomplished.
Social morals are simply their puppets.
Perhaps that's why I consider ignorance as one of my strongest points.
I can ignore time, space, talk, emotion- anything, just as long as I want to.
I don't give a damn about whatever others think of ignorance, cos' I think mine's justified enough for myself. Who cares about the rest anyway ? Like they'll ever make a difference.
The thing about blogs is that they're made for personal entertainment and a sharing of daily musings. Daily events are enough of a bore, so what's interesting , is what goes on inside the mind of the bored.
Not the boring events of the bored.
That is unless of course you're some dysfunctional stalker who's been served a ten-metre court order and can't get a dig at what's going on with the stalkee's life.
Anyway, I don't like to attach too much emotion to my entries, cos' they only kill my ignorance. Blogs are sorta like leaks of a damp of feelings just waiting to break those walls and get lost. So yep, I love my wall. It's transparent by the way. So why would you want to break it?
Contradiction is unavoidable cos' I'm neither left of right winged. I go both ways.
So what the heck.
Not as though I'd touch on raw issues today.
Honestly, I'm getting bored of many things.
I'm even getting bored of blogging.
And you know what?
Boredom's the root of all evil .
Money's not the root, money's the leaf to be lost as a means to accomplish the plant's evil plans.
Boredom then is the root.
So maybe I'm becoming more and more evil because I'm bored.
Like you'd ever notice that.
I'm too ignorant for any of you to notice that.
And really, the honours' all mine.
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11:55 pm
Another test.
Extraversion 63% Stability 66% Orderliness 23% Altruism 76% Interdependence 43% Intellectual 30% Mystical 56% Artistic 56% Religious 43% Hedonism 16% Materialism 43% Narcissism 50% Adventurousness 76% Work ethic 43% Self absorbed 56% Conflict seeking 43% Need to dominate 63% Romantic 43% Avoidant 50% Anti-authority 70% Wealth 50% Dependency 36% Change averse 43% Cautiousness 16% Individuality 63% Sexuality 50% Peter pan complex 50% Physical security 70% Physical Fitness 37% Histrionic 56% Paranoia 43% Vanity 43% Hypersensitivity 36% Female cliche 56%
Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture
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9:56 pm
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Don't care?
Don't care?
Jul 06 2005 , G8 Summit, Worldwide Mobilization
Every 6 seconds someone is infected with aids.
Every 3 seconds a child dies of poverty.
Kinda sad when you think about how much stuff you're taught about in school- cell structure,trigonometry,chemical bonding...yadah yadah... and yet not many know about the efforts of worldwide aid organisations or that such problems even exist to be in need of a solution.
I'll bet that at LEAST half of the people reading this haven't a clue about G8 and it's agendaS [note ,there's a 'S'] this year.
F.Y.I there's three main agendas for this year.
Go read the papers once in a while peeps.
We can't afford to not give a damn about shit happening outside this choked up long kang of little ol' Singapore.
And everybody's going on about post-mid year plans/events.
Tsk tsk.
Must be a real kick for them to be able to go out once in a while and have a life.
so shoot me.
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9:10 pm
Friday, July 01, 2005
Nothing.
Nothing.
I'm not much of a reminisce-tical person.
Not that I don't have any happy memories, but I just don't like to go back sometimes.
Kinda pointless to me you see.
The feelings at that point in time.
The air you breathe then.
The thoughts skipping through then.
Thinking about just doesn't bring it all back I guess.
It just makes you crave for it.
Makes you wish for it to come back.
But it wouldn't.
It couldn't.
So what's the point in reminiscing then?
Guess that's why I don't talk much about the past with people who didn't share it with me.
I don't really want to have conversations about the past with anybody but myself.
It prevents discrepancies from creeping in.
I wonder how much sense that made.
What the heck.
Pasts kinda remind me of a detail that falls into the same disturbing catergory as the one about goodbyes and separation.
You don't want to, but it's simply unavoidable.
Memories were so easy when all you had to work on was building it.
Anyway. I'm thinking of trying to make my own blog template.
Stuff found at blogskins are getting more and more rubbish these days.
I don't like anything fancy anyway.
I like plain white space for my blogging.
Allows room for you to imagine what might go into them someday.
What I like to call elegance in its nothingness.
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7:00 pm