Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Encore.

Encore.
brings out the life in you


Nutritional Facts.
serving size : 1 life time

% Daily Value *

Adrenaline-100%
CCA- 100%
Energy- 100%
Fellowship- 100%
Fun- 100%
Love- 100%
Studies- 100%

Product of Catholic Junior College

*percent daily values are based on 100% participation.



What about CJ's orientation?

2 words.

It ROCKS!!!!

I mean, 5 days of nothing but fun, fun, fun,fun, lame,lame,LOUD,LOUD and did I mention FUN??
That even though I came in knowing just a handful of homosapiens.
That even though I came in blur and lost.

And I must admit something.
CJ is truly A HELL LOT more happening then AJ.

Sorry, but it's true.
At least to me ok?

LOL~

Let's see now, the first 2 days weren't so exciting. Cos' we were in IGs [Index Groups] , and I so happened to get the nightmare of OGLs and OGFs everywhere be it HCI, RJ, PJ, YJ or AJ.
I got a dead fish group .
The horror!

Then again, I'm no longer an OGF am I ?
Heck!

Hmm...got my class only on Monday morning.
1T39.

The verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry last class.
The 'just opened' class due to the whole 'dragon-baby craze' .
Maybe people of that era thought that having a dragon baby was cool.
Whatever.
HAHA~

Let's see now, my class comprises of ZERO 1st intakers as of yesterday, today one new girl came in, and she's a 2nd intaker~So that sorta broke our record of having ZERO first intakers. [Altogether now. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW]

hehe~

Other then that.....my class ROX! haha~
Yep yep , like this class alot.
=)

So orientation continued , just that now, in classes.
And we're not a dead fish class!
Hooray!

Had a blast at Sentosa yesterday.
Yes, we went to Sentosa for orientation yesterday. [CJ booked the entire stretch of palawan beach for us! ]
Nothing but one whole day of fun in the rain, then sun plus sand plus sea!
Those who've lessons have started already....NANNY NANNY POO POOO!
lol~

I'm mean, yay!

Then yesterday, after our Sentosa orientation, 1T39 went to pasta mania's for dinner.
Wah.
My facilitator was F-R-E-A-K-Y during dinner, ok, more than usual. lol!
[Jk ah Dom.]

He was like telling all who were interested what he thinks this particular person is like in nature.
And he got like 9 out of 10 correct???
MY GAWD.

And he's only known us for like what?
1 and a half days???

Also, when I say nature, I mean the really deep stuff, you know, the kind only people who you loveeeeeeeeeeeeee just about close to DEATH would know .

What he said about me was....well....VERY true.
It was something along the lines of something like "you...like to better everything including yourself and the situation around you. You are a very vocal person...there's little you'll keep to yourself...And compared to the others, what's troubling you is not that significant in your life as the rest of them..."

1 and a half days.
O-h M-y G-O-D .

But the next part was kinda waaay out lah~
haha!
Too bad Dom!
Try harder next time!

Today was our finale.
Ilden ROX man!
And I swear that from now on, I'll try to urm 'embrace' pink into my lifestyle~~ -.-"

We were like all decked out in pink gear.
For me, I only used a pink hair rubber band, and pink clips, eye mask and balloon.
The more hardcore-ed ones had pink wrist bands, pink hair, pink t-shirts, pink face paint and o course, pink balloons and eye masks.

And I must admit, the pink panther banner 1T39 made was REAL cute [ok, w/o the eyes, cos' the eyes just looked freaky~]. All thanks to our little artist! Urm....forgot her name~
Damn I'm lousy~wahahha~

As the tone of this entry suggests, I'm STILL DAMN HIGH! WOOOHOOO!
Now, if only I had enough dough to go out with Ilden~
T.T

Now does anyone here care to sponsor me?

error

10:37 pm


Sunday, March 27, 2005

Easter.

Easter.

"On Easter, Christians should go to church. "

Heard that somewhere, long ago.
Then I heard it again today.
Ok, saw it.

Today I went to Chao Yan's church [ Ang Mo Kio Methodist Church. ] for Easter service .

WOW right?

lol~thank elizabeth for it k ? She's the one 'begging' me to go with her to Chao Yan's church. So yeah, technically I really must thank her for 'begging' me to go.

Thanks eliz !
For begging me to go to church and also for the easter chocs !
Really appreciate it.

Let's see now...I woke up at 7:00 am [aren't u people proud of me ? lol] then rushed allllllllll the way to Ang Mo Kio MRT station to meet Elizabeth and her friends .

We then wandered about AMK cos' we couldn't find the bus stop with bus 132.
Heck. We didn't even know which direction was the church in.
And because we were really running late, we decided to grab a cab-xi [ a cross between a cab and a taxi cos I can't really decide on which to use~].

As blur as it could get, us the super sleepy and unwoken quadret just told the cab-xi driver to drive us to some AMK church without telling him the name of the church ! And AMK beign as big as it is, would so definately have more than one church now wouldn't it?

So that cheating/blur/lying/blluffing cab-xi criver took us to " Christ The King Church" . And as silly as this recount already is, it got worse! We walked up and down every single staircase we could find in search of a level 3 when all the stairs either don't lead to level 3 or the door is locked.

Then, we did what any normal, lost, panicky and late group of girls would do. We got elizabeth to call Chao Yan~~

"Where are you all? "

"We at staircase B, the one with the thru access to level 3 wannn"

"stay where u are."

later.............

"Where are you all? "

"We're at the main gate. "

"You're at the wrong church, I don't see you all. "

DIAO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SI CAB-XI DRIVER!! KAPOK MY HARD-BEGGED $1 !

And I was wondering why are people from that 'methodist' church using holy water to mae the sign on the cross before entering the church~
-.-"

lol~

We then took yet another cab, this time, slightly wiser, this time we told the guy to bring us to AMK methodist church.

And we managed to get the right place this time.

About the service, all I can say is....

Thank you Lord.
For putting me at the right place.
At the right time.

First, Catholic JC.
Now, to a methodist church.

He never left me now did he ?

I know this sounds wrong and not 'correct' in Christian terms...
But I really felt as though He left me.
As though He's no longer a part of my life.

As much as I tried and try to convince myself that He's always with me...I just can't come to terms with what the gospel had said.

I mean.

How do you expect me to believe something which I can't see ??
How do you expect me to belive something which is filled with words claiming to be the truth when the writers themselves were not sure of their faith ?

As fantastic as God's good news is , I simply can't take it as that.

What I can take though, is that Corica's apple strudels ARE heavenly~

Now that, is no myth or legend.

error

10:14 pm


Thursday, March 24, 2005

In Veritate et Caritate.

In Veritate et Caritate.

That's latin for "In Truth and Love".

That's also CJ's school motto.

SO much nicer than Non Mihi Solum eh?
Lol~
Don't take me as though I'm firing AJ now...I'm simply making myself feel better about being posted to CJ.
My selfishness....you first day know me ah?
LOL~

Hmmm....First 2 days at the rumored "Lovers' Paradise" in Mrs Benjamin's time a.k.a "JC with the highest abortion rate" not too long ago.

Let's see now....what do I like about CJ... SO FAR..

1. It's only 1 min from my place. [that's inclusive of a traffic jam.]
2. It's uniform is one of the nicer ones among all the JCs.
3. It's school compound is alot bigger than AJ .
4. It's school song is only 6 lines long and a hell lot easier to sing.
5. I'll be going through an orientation program different from the one at AJ.
6. The people at CJ are real nice and VERY friendly.
7. Lots of familiar faces at CJ. [primary school friends...Secondary school friends (ok, 2 only)...people I met from AJ during my first 3 months there..]
8. No Miss In!! [bitching PD tutor]
9. No hot/stuffy/always crowded canteen!
10. Bangra dance! [yay~I love dancing and there's nothing u can do about it!]

What do I not like about CJ.... SO FAR...

1. NO Elizabeth and krystelle!!!
2. NO ah long!!
3. Most of the friends I made during my first 3 months there at AJ are not there...like duH.
4. NO all star , kim thye, Beji Dass.
5. It's swarmed with SJI guys and CHIJ girls. [like wad a friend of a friend said, "throw stone sure hit a SJI guy or a CHIJ girl ." ]
6. Not so exciting orientation program. [cos dun have me as OGF mah~lol]
7. No familiarity with just about EVERYTHING?
8. ehhhhhh....NO Elizabeth and krystelle and ah long!!
9. Can't think of anything else.

So....on the whole...CJ's pretty alright so far.

Oh yeah.
We got this real cute PMK-lookalike orientation 2 t-shirt.
It's white and has the CJ flame on the front side. On the back, there's this HUGE "ENCORE" and a nutritional value list.
Very PMK.

For those deprived of suffient shopping and VERY general knowledge....PMK stands for Pure MilK. It's a local brand of clothes.

On the whole....CJ's quite a like-able and stay-able place...just needs time I guess...
Even though I appealed for AJC and NYJC... I doubt I'll be going to either places anytime soon.
I mean, since I'm unable to get in through the front door, what makes u think that I'll be able to get in through the back door when they're already bursting of dragon babies?

So yep...like what I've been telling all who ask me whether am I appealing.
I'm just appealing for the sake of appealing .
To shut those who kept nagging at me to appeal . [Yeah that includes ol' kway teow of mine]

I don't care how bimbotic this is gonna sound, but I really can't wait to buy my own set of CJ uniform.

error

11:42 pm


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Posting Results.


Name :
LEE YILING ALISON

1.
The results of your application are as follows:
Posted Institution
:
CATHOLIC JC
Course Name
:
CATHOLIC JC (SCIENCE)
Course Code
:
23S

2.
If you are posted to a JC/CI, please report to the JC/CI on 23 Mar 2005 at 7.30am. If you are posted to a Polytechnic/ITE, an enrolment package with the relevant enrolment details will be sent to you.

3.
If you are unsuccessful in your application or wish to apply for a transfer to a particular course, you should approach the institution concerned directly. The institution concerned will inform you of the outcome of your application.

4.
Please logoff when you have finished viewing.



Am I supposed to start laughing here?

LOL~

I'm ok with CJ lah...just hope it'll turn out alright.

error

8:07 am


Sunday, March 20, 2005

Irony.

Irony.


Sometimes I wonder why am I always doing things that are against my principles.
Things I'm not proud of.
Things I never wanted to do in the first place.

Other times I spend it musing over why haven't I done things that I should have done.
Things I know I can overcome.
Things I know are important.

Then there are times I ponder.
Why is the human race will so weak?
Why am I so weak?

I tell myself I must go to church.
But no.
I don't.

I run from the house of God.
I run from everything.
Then I run from everything else.

I tell myself I have work to complete.
But no.
I don't.

I spend it telling stories.
Telling you peeps what's going on in my so-very-restricted-life.
Reading what's going on in others' so-very-restricted-lives .
Analysing who's real who's not.
Who's true and who's not.

Later I spend my time thinking about why I didn't/did what I didn't/ did do.

Silly eh?

Frankly speaking, I'm not always nice/cheery/friendly/optimistic/strong/understanding/whatever impression as whatever impression I give you peeps .

I am human.
I have my ups.
Have my share of lows.

This is not a cry for pity.
Don't give me any.
Cos' I don't want it either.

I'm simply sick and tired of answering to lies.
Then having no answer for my own questions.

Before you peeps start sending conlolences tags...
I'm NOT depressed/stressed/tired .

I'm a happy person.
Just one who contradicts herself all the time.

Just what exactly am I driving at?
I have no idea.

I'm simply wasting my time until it's time for me to go to sleep and wake up to another day in school with no work completed.

I love school. Then I hate school.
Irony. Irony. Irony.

Afterall, irony makes the world go round doesn't it?

error

10:41 pm


Thursday, March 17, 2005

Transparencies and Stands.

Transparencies and Stands.


Just when I was starting to feel better about constantly having to repost an entry, I lost another one.

I am cursing in my head.

Anyway.
A petition's up!
This one's about "High Bus Fares for Polytechnic students" by Pang Khin Wee .

Well, it seems like the polytechnic people are finally speaking up after generations of suffering without concession. After all how fair is a system whereby SMRT and SBS charge polytechnic students adult fares while JC students only pay 45cents per trip.

Stange how none of us really knows the reasoning behind the bus companies' policy to charge polytechnic students more then JC students when our government aims to be 'transparent with all operations' .

Kick themselves in the mouth.
That's what I for one like to describe government bodies ,be it local or abroad.

Maybe I don't have much information to garner me a 'critiquing-warrant' now, but if our government's really as 'transparent' as they claimed themselves to be, would I even be puzzled over the disparencies between the fare prices for JC and poly students to start with ?

If our society is truly an open and mature one would I have to resort to using Ol' humble blog of mine to air my thoughts?
Solidify my views?

If it was as open and mature as opposed to be, I would have yanked out a sound amplifier to really SOUND my views ages ago.

That pretty much tells you what I think about our sunny little island now doesn't it?

Now, I believe most of us have the desire to make Singapore a better place for everyone . Just that some really can't be bothered about the whole casino hoo-haa, the Chinese teaching methods debate much less the Education revamp.
So, let's start small now shall we?
Let's start with something close to heart : Concession.

Personally I think it's VERY unfair that Polytechnic students have to pay so much more then JC students. If I am a Polytechnic student, I'd also be pretty put off by the dis-equality of concession rates.

"What if you lose your concession through this petition? "
"Equality wadddd . "

So be it then.
Maybe then the Polytechnic students wouldn't grumble about the disparrencies between the JC and Polytechnic students and stop throwing us the JC students death stares as though our great ancestors stole their pigs or something when we scan our cards in front of them, showing them the '45 cents deducted' unknowingly .

On top of that, if concession was made equal for all JC/Poly/ITE students [or taken away altogether now] , people from NYP might stop staring at us AJCians like we've all sot diao-ed when we go to NYP's numerous, airy, relaxing, affordable and most importantly DELICIOUS cafeterias [note : Not one cafeteria but cafeterias] in our school uniforms for lunch .

lol~

Whichever side you support, make it heard. Make it known.

Petition's site : http://www.petitiononline.com/polybus/petition.html

Afterall, even our beloved PAP wants us to constantly give their 'transparent operators' feedback now don't they?

error

7:30 pm


Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Not so cheery at all.

Not so cheery at all.


I feel like I'm gonna be sick.
I almost cried.

I watched this----> http://hk.geocities.com/blood1213/fur.html

I have nothing to say.
Different people, different culture I gues.
But the fact that we're linked biologically IS kinda creepy now isn't it?

God knows what else these "relatives" of ours do behind the eyes of the media.

........

Ok. I can't take it anymore..
Life abuse is WRONG!!!
The degrading of lives be it animal/plant/environment[yes that is also LIFE!]/child/maid/wife/husband/parent is WRONG!!!

Irrationally...I don't care how different our cultures or values or both are.
Cos this is just WRONG!!
How would you like it if someone yanked ur white furry little critter and start massacring it. Skinning it. Stepping on it's throat just to quicken it's transition to the other world?

Worse.
What if it was you being sliced , your skin used as just another object of the fashion runway?

But that wouldn't convince you much would it?
Cos' you know that'll never happen to you.

But what if?

Sometimes I really wonder are Singaporeans too sheltered in their sunny little island that they lose their own voices and thoughts .
Too engrossed in scandals and gossips like which tribe cheated for some lame Orientation rotation games.

On the issue of AJ Orientation 2.

[F.Y.I I'm one of the OGFs for Orisha.]

We had our second day of OGF workshop today.

All I can say is Orisha's conscience is clear.
Gossip all you want.
That wouldn't change the FACT that we WON for every game.
That wouldn't change the FACT that we're a ROCKING tribe.

Honestly maybe we're too sensitive and stuff but we wouldn't be if you hadn't spelled it clearly to our faces that you think we cheated.
What prove do you have?
That we won every game?

Orientation 1 wasn't like this...we had fun...we made friends inter-tribally.
There wasn't any animosity between the different tribes.

Why are we so bent on winning when elsewhere things like animal rights are being overlooked?

Then, as I was typing this post [this is the fifth time I'm typing this post] the power supply decicided to take a unauthorized leave. 10 times in one night.
Naturally I'll be pissed off now wouldn't I?
Especially when my mum kept accusing that it was my com creating all the power supply troubles.

I got off the com and ta-dah . Another power shortage.
Told her it wasn't my com.
Did she believe me?
No .
She didn't.

These days I really feel like cursing AND swearing at everyone who pisses me off.


Be glad I know what's self control.
Be really really glad.

error

10:39 pm


Monday, March 14, 2005

Change.

Change.


Yay!

A change of template.....FINALLY~

Don't mind the hearts.
I don't fancy them much either.

But what I do like about this template's layout...is it's generous space for entry and most importantly...CLARITIY!

This is for all the blur/gong/bling/paijiao peeps out there who were grappling with what the hell I was even writing previously cos they couldn't make out what went on behind the 'mist' in the previous layout.



Don't complain cannot read what I wrote ahhh~

If like that still cannot read I suggest you take a trip down to MOH or something~

error

11:26 pm




My Belief.

My Belief.


Standing up for what you believe in,
Regardless of the odds against you,
And the pressure that tears at your resistance....
that's Courage.

Keeping a smile on your face,
When inside you feel like dying,
For the sake of supporting others....
that's Strength.

Stopping at nothing,
And doing what's in your heart,
You know is right....
that's Determination.

Doing more than is expected,
To make another's life more bearable,
Without utterign a single complaint....
that's Compassion.

Helping a friend in need,
No matter the time or effort,
To the best of your ability....
that's Loyalty.

Giving more than you have,
And expecting nothing
But nothing in return....
that's Selflessness.

Holding your head high,
And being the best you know you can be
When life seems to fall apart at your feet,
Facing each difficulty with the confidence
That time will bring you better tomorrow'sand never giving up....
that's Confidence.

To the question of your life,
You are the only Answer.
To the problems of your life,
You are the only Solution.
Just depends on your own willingness to take charge of your own life.

error

7:44 pm


Sunday, March 13, 2005

The Bones and The bogeyman In the Closet.

The Bones and The bogeyman In the Closet.


Sometimes people get pissed off by the continuous ranting sessions showered upon them by their friends.
Sometimes people don't listen to their friends.

Sometimes I get pissed off by the continuous ranting sessions showered upon me by my friends. Sometimes I don't listen.
Sometimes I don't even let them speak.

And it's only until things get really bad do people speak up and let you know what's troubling them.

By then.
Things might have gotten too far.
It could have been too late.

But we're humans.
Humans for a reason.
We are imperfect.
We all have our imperfections.
Different ones that's all.

Personally, I think that people don't tell even their closest friends what's bothering them purely out of consideration for the other party.

I mean.
Who ever enjoyed bring the rain-maker in the party?
Same applies towards relationships be it kinship, friendship or any other forms of relationships.
Who would ever want to darken the skies of an otherwise picture-perfect relationship?

And yes .
I do know that if someone wants you to know about something, he/she would tell you about it him/herself . Maybe not immediately, but slowly and surely...he/she will tell you about it .
If you care enough about them that is.

Then again that works differently for different people I guess.


Also, have you wondered why are we always doing things that we don't like to do ?
Chasing borrowed dreams ?
Fufiling all the wrong hopes?

Many people have expressed regret at choosing a course of study or career in which they had zero interest in. But they went ahead with it anyway for reasons such as "because Mummy and Daddy say Gahmen say it's good and because Uncle So and So's son did it, and now he's making a lot of money". And many have said they now feel trapped and depressed.

That was quoted from a column I read this morning by Collin Goh, the editor of Singapore's most popular satirical humour website Talkingcock.com.

Singaporeans, it seems, have a high propensity for self-suppression. According to Professor David Olsen, the administrator of the survey , the Singaporeans' conundrum may be sttributable to a cultural reluctance to express their real feelings, coupled with an aversion to confrontation.
In other words, plain old kiasu-ism , and its even plainer sister, kiasi-ism.

There are those who don't confront those they're buay song with cos' they know that won't change anything.

There are those who don't say anything when we see some lame kid pointing a laser at the movie screen during a movie.

There are those who pick a dream from influences of the media, our parents, our relatives, or what our friends think.

Strange how much we hide from others and ourselves for the sake of peace isn't it?
Our real dreams, our actual hopes, our true selves even.

Even if peace is achieved exteriorly, does that mean that internal peace is secured too?

Your mama told you to NEVER bottle up your feelings.
Your sickening pastoral care tutor is continuously reminding you of the importance of 'communicating with your peers' [as much as you don't want to listen to that, it gets drilled in along with the whole load of pastoral crap].

So then why are there bones in out closets then?
And the funnier thing is as the days fly by, the bones accumulate until one day you go home finding the bogeyman using the bones to choke your dearest kitty.

What I'm driving at [hopefully ramming into ur numbskulls ], is that we're now at the crossroads of our lives....make sure you make that 'YOU' decision....and in the process of it....don't bottle up. Cos' if you do...how are we your 'zhu peng gou yous' [pig and dog friends] ever gonna know what's troubling you? How are we then able to help you?

Anyway.
Notice I didn't say the 'RIGHT' decision.
That's cos' I know that the 'RIGHT' decision is not always right.
And that the 'WRONG' decision is not always 'WRONG'.

Therefore , make the 'YOU' decision.
Don't let what 'they' say get to you.
Cos' as long as you have the heart for it....have 'yourself' with you...
I believe that your belief in yourself shall prevail and succeed you!

As the SAF says, "Kah kah lai! Meng kia, long tio ooh sia!!" ( Go boldly ! Don't be scared!If you bump into something, it'll make a noise! )

lol~


*ps. I know what I want now.

I've found my call.

I want to help people.


Hope that's 'ME' and not 'RIGHT'.

error

1:39 am


Friday, March 11, 2005

Not proud.

Not Proud.


Hmm....

"Hey aLi. What's up with ur life these days? "

Let's see now...

Yesterday I ponned just about 3/4 of my tutorials/lectures/practicals.
Today I ponned one whole day of school.

Just didn't want to care about studies for once.
Slack on man!

Hmm...also for the first time in my life I bought an MC just to save my own ass from being burnt by some dumb ass a teacher.

How did that happen now...
Let's see....that day [Thursday] was a SUPER sian day.
PE then GP . Both were FUN!

For PE we FINALLY got to play games!
So my class girls chose to play captain's ball since that's the only game we could decide on anyway~
We played with the girls from next class [S24/05] since both classes had less then 10 girls~
FUN!
And I got a head concussion!
haha~

Dunno who won though~
didn't bother to keep score~
lol~

Then for GP, all we did was play pictionary~
Just that it had a theme . Mass Media.
And it was guys against girls.
And the girls had to set the list of words for the guys to guess while the guys had to do vice versa for the girls as well.

Wah.
One word to sum it up.
Stessss~~~

Apparently we liked giving each other really tough and virtually unknown media personalities to draw~
And we're in the science stream for a reason ya noe?
We all [ok, practically all of us] die die also CANNOT do art~

-.-"

So yeah~quite a close fight we had~
But in the end...
As expected...

We the girls WON!
Haha~
By 2 points only though~
So yeah~that's just about all we did for GP~
haha~

After that was the much dreaded PHYSICS SPA.
I'm dropping Physics.
Confirm.
So don't even try to convince me not to drop Physics.

Since that's the case, what for waste my time sweating it out for a subject I have just about ZERO interest and flair for?
What I do?
I ponned .

Simple as that.

So, Elizabeth, Dhyvia and I went to NYP for lunch and slacked around until we decided to pon the whole day~
It's the last week of proper JC schooling [for us the first-intakers anyway] .

In case you people have forgotten...next week is the week of the beloved March Holidays!
Hurrays!!
That's like the ONLY thing pulling me through all the dreary studying and fretting over posting results~

The MC thing?

Let's see now...
We were on the mrt on our way to Orchard when Elizabeth and Dhyvia's PD tutor called!
OMG~
So we just cooked up some crap story about all of us eating some overnight tuna sandwich causing all of us to have terrible stomach upsets.

Teacher : "Why didn't u get an early leave then? "

Us : "Erm....we didn't know..."

Teacher : "So where are u all now?"

Us : "We're on our way to the polyclinic to see a doctor..."

Teacher : "Make sure u have a MC for me tomorrow...and Don't leave school early without informing ur PD tutors k? "

There u have it.
Unless we really have a MC each.
We're toast.
Bye bye.
Game over.

That doesn't leave us with much choice now does it?

And NO we cannot own up to ponning.
We just can't....

Ok.
I just can't bring myself to do that...

Frankly, I feel really guilty saying these, but I really DID have fun ponning school to go to a polyclinic with a conspiricy to cheat a Government Civil Servant into giving me one damned MC just to save my silly own ass.

Really!
It was FUN!
I think the three of us looked like the 3 happiest sick clowns in the whole polyclinic that day.
And I'm not afraid of admitting to that.
I'm just not proud of it.
Honest.

I know what I did wasn't right.
That I just wasted the time and money of Singaporean tax payers everywhere.
That I probably robbed someone else the energy of the doctor 'treating' me ,which could have meant life or death to them.
I also know that I just erased all righteousness away from myself.
I know I have surrendered to Satan himself.


So yeah...I know I'm wrong.
I'm not proud of that.
But I must confess that I got one hell of a kick outta that little 'adventure' I embarked upon with my friends~

Not too young to be free.
Not too old to be wrong.

Guess that's the only shield of defence I have for myself now anyway.
Not that I'm worth defending though~

haha~

I'm barely 17~
relax~~~

error

10:09 pm


Thursday, March 10, 2005

School.

School.


Feels as if I haven't been blogging for a reaaaaaaaallllllly loooong time.
4 days to be exact.
And to think I used to blog everyday.
Twice a day when I'm feeling fired up or sian.

Then again, that was during the holidays..... *reminisces*

Why haven't I been blogging...

Hmm...contemplating I guess...on top of that, I think u peeps are pretty washed up from my numerous rants about JC life.
What to do...JC occupies just about 60% of my life now anyway.
The other 40% left is for me sleep/slack/play/eat/sleep/shit/eat/slack somemore etc etc....

Notice I haven't talked completing my tutorials and revised yet?
Slack on man!

Yeah. Pathetic u say.

But I enjoy my time there.
As much as possible anyway. [Maximum Satisfaction to be attained! (economics) ]
lol~
And it really DOES beat staying at home all day with nothing better to do or having to face some shit faced supervisor day in day out.

I don't mind the long hours.
I have my friends to tide me over that.

I don't mind the killer PE therapies all JCs would implement upon us whichever JC I land up in.
As my damn crappy pe teacher likes to say.. "BE STRONGER!!"
diao~~but it DOES make sense doesn't it?
See ahh...if you're one of those extremely unmotivated 'sportsman' , wouldn't u need that extra push from your exterior environments to go forward and really "BE STRONGER!!" ?
Maybe you don't.
But I do.
And I REALLY mean it~

I don't mind the projects as well.
Nevermind the late hours I have to put in.
Nevermind the eyebags I received.[ damn the eyebags!!!!!]
Job satisfaction sorta made up for all of that.

I don't mind going home real late everyday [compared to Sec sch.]
Cos I know my time was fruitfully used in my cca...school....having fun in school....

So does that equate to pathetic now?

Man I'll really miss school when I start work now....
Then again.
I haven't even gone to work yet.
What DO I know about work?

lol~

The only thing I don't really enjoy about schooling in a JC is how energy-consuming it is.
That leaves just about every JC student waaay too shagged at the end of the day to really find their passions, work on it, have an opinion, voice it, contemplate on life and act to correct it.

Worse come to worse, they might even start hating life altogether from their lost of touch with their own emotions.

Wow.
That'll pretty suck now wouldn't it?

Let's just hope that that wouldn't happen now k peeps?
Be it JC or Poly students we become.


Come What MAY - Moulin Rouge.

error

8:58 pm


Sunday, March 06, 2005

Fibre-glass cum Mosquitoes ATTACK!

Fibre-glass cum Mosquitoes ATTACK!

[This is actually the second time I'm blogging about this,Blogger died on me the first round before I could save~PEK CHEK ah~]

NEVERMIND. I shall summarise~

Back from AJ ODAC's sea expedition camp.

Turned out to be not-sucha-sea expedition like camp.
16 km cut to 1.5 km cos the Weather man didn't like us.

What more barely an hour into the expedition loads of kayaks had capsized already~
Experienced Kayakers lehh~[one of them a damn 'zai' RI guy who kept complaining that he got 9 points and A2s for everything].
Mind u, he capsized more then once.
Scout le~
ROFL~

As a result we had a 'practise how to kayak' session before going on a MINI expedition to Senoko Power station [1.5 km only~].

My partner [another RI guy , Nicholas(this world is seriously waaay too saturated with Nicholases o.O )] and I had this policy...

Our top piority was....Under ALL circumstances...."DON'T CAPSIZE."
So, bottle drop into the sea [my senior threw it into the sea to be more precise] , we chiong-ed towards it only to slow down significantly later.
Why?
Water waaay too choppy, bottle heck lah~Don't capsize ke yi le~

And for the whole 'practise how to kayak' session we stuck to that policy...STRICTLY.

lol~

Other than that...nothing very interesting lah...
Just the usual lame stuff going on during camps, gross and sick forfeits [2 guys were made to kiss with only a piece of paper between their lips]....cold jokes....mosquitoe attacks...

Oh yeah.
Guess what kind of sentry duty everyone was assigned to?

Sit in front of the MPH [Multi-purpose-hall where everyone slept in], eat crackers and drink milo, talk crap and lame around.
For one whole hour.

lame xia~~but had a blast cracking cold jokes and playing that silly 'fingers game' my sentry group[ Hazel, Ee sin , Changtai and me] played~

Hmmm...
Tioked a sunburn and just 1 fibreglass cut.
That's all.
Told you peeps not xiong wan~

error

12:35 am


Thursday, March 03, 2005

Clearing Air.

Clearing Air.


I think I really should clear up some misunderstandings...

I'm NOT angry at anyone.
No one in particular anyway.

Mostly I'm angry at only one person.
And that's your's truly.

So yeah...relax...if I'm angry at anyone..I'm not so nice to not tell u peeps that toot's name.
Mean as always~
Yup, that's me.
lol~

Today...
Had dinner with Grace, June and Angel...
A.K.A , my mummy, my family pig and my grandma~~

All I can say is....

Man...I love you people to DEATH.
Ok, that sounds creepy/freaky/scary/awkward.
But really.
Nothing beats laming and crapping without any damned worries about any damned examinations/tests/tutorials/lectures/SPAs/JAE/4 A'levels/etc... with u peeps.

Miss you all.
And that even though we just parted like what ? 5 hours ago?
Geez I am emo~
haha~

Shan't bore you peeps with further elaboration on my emo-ness~
It's embarrassing k?
Examples...ermm...*hint : the day results were out...
*hint 2: what I did before I even got my results slip...

Sidetrack. VERY far.

Angel's scared of watching Constantine with me~~~
lol~
Something about my reactions being farney[to her] during the whole stretch of Constantine~
We were laughing when the whole theatre was freaked out can?
lol~

But nevertheless, cool movie.
Freaky at times.
But cool.

Back to topic.

Emotional.
Can't help it.
The inbuilt female mechanism?
The genetics stuff?
Or just another "girl-thing" ?

Haha~
And I'm so gonna fart/burp/maybe both the whole night away[gross]~
Who call u all make me laugh so hard~
See lah~ too much air went into the wrong tube liao~

It's 3:00 am +++
What did you expect?
lol~

error

3:22 am


Tuesday, March 01, 2005

What Now ?

What Now ?


" the worst kind of pity is when you feel for yourself.
neither here nor there.
I just want to be sick"

Those 3 lines struck me pretty badly.

And yes, it was from some undisclosed blog belonging to someone who didn't do good or bad for his O'levels.
Same scenario as your's truly.

Frankly, now that I think of it...that dude did not mention explicitly how much he received for the O'levels .
But "neither here nor there.."
I'm assuming that that's around my score.

But "pity" .
Wow.
I never thought of my results as a disgrace or what deserves pity.
Cos' it isn't.

I was in the car with my mum a while ago. We were driving to CJ to have an estimate on how long the journey would take [1 min to be exact. So slow hoh? Got traffic jam what to do~lol ]
And my mother commented,

mother : "What went wrong? " .

me: "I don't know...messed up here and there...Didn't score in what I could score in...And didn;t score in what I couldn't score in..."

mother : "Was it cos your teachers used wrong methods to teach you?"

me : * heatedly*"No. My teachers ARE GOOD teachers."

mother : diams.

After 5 mins.

mother : "During your prelims I can tell that you put in alot more effort then your actual O's...."

How do I react in such a case?

I know I didn't push myself to the limits for the O's...but strangely I just didn't feel like owning up to that fact . Neither did I feel like pushing the blame to anything else. Cos it's centered around me essentially anyway.

But NO. I don't pity myself.

Sighz.

3 more days to the end of JAE application.
And I'm as blur as ever about where to go.

1stly. 13 points.
People go to AJC with 9-11 points.
I got 13.
That pretty much tells you where I stand , SHOULD I return [ok, be ABLE to return to AJ].

2ndly. 13 points.
AJ has this "no one with more than 10 points are NOT allowed to take 4 subjects."
WTH....

3rdly. 13 points.
Which JC am I eligible for AND[note ah, conditions are set] not have to wake up at day break to go to school [yesh. Sleep is a VERY important component of my life~] ?

It's the make or break time.

Sian-ed by the si Singaporean education system.

Then again...
Is that me pushing the blame to something else now?

error

9:10 pm




Who I am.

Who I am.


I am someone who doesn't like conflicts.
Someone who won't initiate any.
Someone who enjoys peace.

I am someone who won't conceal my displeasure just for peace's sake.
Someone who doesn't hide.

I contradict myself all the time.
So what's new.

On the release of the O'levels results...I won't say that what I got was good, cos' to me ,it wasn't.
Neither would I say it was bad, cos' to me, it wasn't.

Thus, I'm neither happy nor am I sad.

I won't say that I mind people asking me how did I fare cos' k-po-ness is Man's inbuilt disaster.
But neither would I say I enjoy the continuous "interrogation" either.

I mean seriously....what has my results got to do with any of u peeps' lives?

What do u get out of it?
The satisfaction that I didn't do as well as you did?
The joy that I "lost" to you?
Or are you truly concerned about me?

To this day, I can honestly say that I've NEVER competed with anyone .
In this World, I only compete with ONE person.
And that's me.

I don't give a damn about how my cousins' did.
Cos' I know nobody likes to be compared to.

I don't ask anyone how they did.
Cos' I know if they wanted me to know, they would tell me.

I don't give a fuck how disappointed my parents are at my results no matter how much they try to hide it.

"Didn't you NOT want to disappoint your folks??
All these years??"

Yes I do.
I mean, who wouldn't??

But I've suddenly gained "enlightenment" .

This is MY life.

Nothing they or what anyone else thinks about it is gonna change it.

I've had enough of trying to be someone I'm not.

I just wanna be free to be me.


Just in case any typical, curious[NOT k-po...whatever u say...] person out there wants to know, I got 13.





Btw, to those who fared well [ok, whatever you people consider as 'well' ] ,my sincerest congratulations.

To those who didn't fare too well [or whatever you people don't consider 'well'], remember what Marcus had said, "The World hasn't seen our true abilities! ".

error

12:13 am