CREDITS
designer:haryani
*this is where you peeps come in to clap and cheer and applaud!* Why? Have I told anyone of you I secretly harbour a ENORMOUS hatred for numbers since forever ? Yup~ABSOLUTELY LOVE words. What more I have a flair for the arts and languages sooooo much more then the maths and Science.. It's like for the humanities, I won't say that I have talent for it. But these are subjects which I would seriously and gladly put my heart and soul into without complaining. Subjects I don't have to shed blood, sweat and tears over not because I find them easy. But cos' I like them. "Choose a subject sombination with subjects you like....cos' the A'levels are NOTHING like the O'levels...and choosing subjects you like would be to your benefit..." Mrs Benjamin told me when I met her near Novena Church just now. But if I DO choose to go into the arts... I'd be closing God-knows-how-wide a door for my future wouldn't I ? So yeah.... Very confused now... Pursue what I like and shutting in on myself or following what I'm expected to do and hate myself for implicating such a load upon myself. Best Speaker leh~ Your dear Ol' Ah listen here. =D All Thanks to Mrs R. Poh.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Brain Analysis.
Brain Analysis.
Auditory : 31%
Visual : 68%
Left : 44%
Right : 55%
"ali, you possess an interesting balance of hemispheric and sensory characteristics, with a slight right-brain dominance and a slight preference for visual processing.
Since neither of these is completely centered, you lack the indecision and second-guessing associated with other patterns. You have a distinct preference for creativity and intuition with seemingly sufficient verbal skills to be able to translate in any meaningful way to yourself and others.
You tend to see things in "wholes" without surrendering the ability to attend to details. You can give them sufficient notice to be able to utitlize and incorporate them as part of an overall pattern.
In the same way, while you are active and process information simultaneously, you demonstrate a capacity for sequencing as well as reflection which allows for some "inner dialogue."
All in all, you are likely to be quite content with yourself and your style although at times it will not necessarily be appreciated by others. You have sufficient confidence to not second-guess yourself, but rather to use your critical faculties in a way that enhances, rather than limits, your creativity.
You can learn in either mode although far more efficiently within the visual mode. It is likely that in listening to conversations or lecture materials you simultaneously translate into pictures which enhance and elaborate on the meaning.
It is most likely that you will gravitate towards those endeavors which are predominantly visual but include some logic or structuring. You may either work particularly hard at cultivating your auditory skills or risk "missing out" on being able to efficiently process what you learn. Your own intuitive skills will at times interfere with your capacity to listen to others, which is something else you may need to take into account."
BLUE
Your heart-felt communication style creates peace and harmony in the workplace. You know how to bring out the best in others. As a Blue personality you are gifted with tremendous people skills.
]You're a heart felt communicator who has a strong need to make a difference in the lives of other people. This strength is immediately noticeable in the way you make connections and bring out the best in those you encounter. People usually feel relaxed and comfortable in your presence.
You love to build self-esteem and make others feel good about who they are. You can easily motivate and inspire people to make changes in their lives and reach their potential. This natural talent makes you excel a counselor, teacher, social worker and journalist.
I am compassionate.
I am always encouraging and supporting.
I am a peacemaker, sensitive to the needs of others.
I am a natural romantic.
I like to do things that require caring, counseling, nurturing, and harmonizing.
I have a strong desire to contribute and to help others lead more significant lives. I am poetic and often enjoy the arts.
I value integrity and unity in relationships.
I am enthusiastic, idealistic, communicative, and sympathetic.
I express my feelings easily.
Haha...Sometimes it's just difficult NOT to agree with such statistics provided about you. Nevertheless occasionally I really do wonder...
Is it because "XXX" was said about us thus we seeking for that particular part of ourselves?
Or is that ever so alluding quality about yourself really you?
error
8:42 pm
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Fly away.
Fly Away.
Two of Soke's friends from Bukit Panjang Govt. High crashed into AJ OFFICIALLY.
Yup, they went through the whole "get-a-visitor's-pass" crap so that they could follow my class wherever we went be it lectures or tutorial sessions.
During Speak Ezee [a program AJ devised to help all it's J1s master the art of speech-making and presentation,ok at least that was what they WANTED the program to do~], we kinda forced them to tell us how SAJC and ACJC are.
Well...other then the food and facilities and uniform...I'm not impressed.
At all.
In fact I'm so darn glad that I didn't go AC or SA.
Go AC...need to pay for like EVERYTHING ?
What happened to "make education available to all" ??
And there's the racism there. [though she said she THINKS they were really just joking for fun]
And the social classes. [though she said everyone was nice]
And the much speculated[and expected] bloody rich, freaking partying and "ang-moh-lised" school culture. [which she wasn't that comfortable about.]
And mind you, this gal came across as a really socialble and friendly gal. Quite Hip in fact.
Despite that....she feels kinda left out in AC.
Wow.
At that very second I decided to AVOID going to ACJC as much as possible [sorry kway teow!].
It's just not me.
I'm used to and LOVE the school culture that I've undergone in all of my previous schools.
That your degree of wealth don't matter.
That your previous school won't bring about any stereotyping of what kinda person you are.
That you race doesn't mean a thing.
That education should be made "easily available to all".
SA....the other girl said that SA's school culture is very much similar to AC just less xiong and less rich~
Like if you weren't a Saint, people there go "Uhhh?" .
Haha~
But...I don't even know whether could I even remain in AJ or not...
If I could...I'm most probably staying.
Other then the minor details and grievances about Uniform, facilities,food and school spirit....AJ rawks!!!
Haha~
Also.
A proper, unofficial, unplanned, unexpected class outing at last!!!
Erm....my AJ class I mean.
Today we went to AMK Kbox !
Went Kboxing!
Can you peeps believe that's the first time I've been to Kbox ??
Laggy I know~~I can't really live with that fact as well~~
lol~
There we got this HUGE room with about 4-5 mikes
Initially everyone was kinda awkward with the mikes and all.
All didn't know whether should they start singing or are they off-key and other not-very-important stuff.
But as the sweet seconds passed the ever so very shy gals in my class warmed up to the cool metal mike and started singing--OFF KEY!! lol~
Damn farney cos everyone's singing and everyone's off-key so nobody really knows who's zhao xia and all~
But I think I went off-key quite [ok,let's be open,rationale adults here] VERY frequently went off-key~but what the heck?
lol~
So yeah..we sang quite a wide variety of mostly Chinese mandopop songs by Jay Chou,S.H.E, Fish Leong and ALOT more...
And I'm now "H" from S.H.E!!! [Sorry. Hello.E ( I forgot what E stands for ) ]
And YES, kaiyang kept hogging the mike,the gals were shy,soke almost shattered glass,Ryan can't sing for nuts,KianLin and brandy are strippers and Guang Wu was super hyper~~
Towards the end of our erm "singing" session, we started screaming and jumping instead of singing just for kicks~
Damn LOUD, NOISY ,CRAZY but FUN!!!
And we kept taking pictures while we sang.
Can't wait for them to be out, we did some pretttttttttttty "cute" poses. Guys included.
lol~
Yup, most of the peeps from my class got thier voices broken [again, for the guys] but Soke and I are still VERY high on adrenaline yah? Still have my ever so beautiful,delightful,soft,sweet,innocent voice with me~
yay~my class so very rawks!!
S23/05 RAWKS!!!
error
9:06 pm
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Exhilaration!
Exhilaration!
Remember I told you peeps I'm in AJ ODAC now?
Remember the rockwall I FAILED to overcome a few weeks ago?
Don't remember I bring you go AJ rockwall to check for my lost dead cells and also for you to bang your head against the wall~
Anyway...
Today there was ODAC.
As the weeks pass, fewer and fewer people are turning up for ODAC.
Kinda reminds me of BHSS NPCC and other uniform groups in just about every other school..
First week, everybody's so happy and enthu about everything.
Second week, some are getting sian of how things work and stop turning up.
Third week, interested pon, not interested also pon.
Eh! Last week I didn't pon k!!
At least not deliberately..
I went for OGF interview...and I got abit blur with my timeslott that's all...
Ok~back to topic.
Today. The 23rd of February 2005.
I, Alison Lee Yiling overcame 1 wall!!!!
Lol~
Like nothing much eh?
But I'm still extremely exhilarated by the FACT that I completed one wall.
And I don't feel tired after that climb either~
but maybe cos' I've learnt my lesson the first time...
1. Use your toes, not the sides of your feet to climb.
2. Don't panic and worry about falling cos come on...u're belayed remember?? [yah~I forgot that the other time~]
3. Don't EVER think about giving up .
4. Rely more on your leg muscles then your arm muscles, your arms CMI no matter how fit you think you are lahh~
5. Step Up. Step Up. Step Up.
6. Reflect on past failures...
Yay~going on a sea expedition during March.
Sorta a "goodbye camp" for us J1s...especially those who would be leaving AJ after the first three months.
Results out anytime this week.
No use praying cos it's all decided already.
No benefits to you for losing sleep over it cos' it's over anyway.
No help whining and worrying and maybe even crying if you get what you don't want to [choy!] . No point in crying over split milk.
Now's the time for true hardcore reflection.Time for plans A,B,C and perhaps even D.
What do you want?
Who do you wanna be?
Where are your eyes set?
How are you getting there?
Yeah..
Just thought I better ATTEMPT to calm some wreaks of Nerves before D-Day arrives.
Cos'I doubt I'd be in the right state of mind to calm wreaks then too.
But no matter what happens...
Remember that it had happened for a reason.
One you'd probably only know after a light year or so..
If you suay........... maybe even never.
So yeah.
Sit back .
Chill.
And what will be, SHALL be.
Despite this...
The future won't be...if you won't let it be.
Neither would it be if you won't let it be.
Understand class???
Lol~
relax lah...
that "colour of the envelope" thingy is most probably fake too.
MOE so boliao come and colour code everyone when they can do so in a swish of the ever so sophisticated modern mouse in mere split-seconds meh?
Bleah~
error
10:27 pm
Saturday, February 19, 2005
DA HOTDOG HOUSE!!!
DA HOTDOG HOUSE!!!
Family day!!
AJ FUNFAIR!!
LoL~
yeppp~today marks the end of my daily" eat hot-dogs-to-find-right-taste and decoration of boards and signages" regime!
Nevertheless I had blast by blasts of fun preparing of the funfair!
This is despite the occasional[ok,let's be honest...FREQUENT] despair and negativity which everyone had about aj having a funfair[mugger island remember?]. Through all[and alot of them]Odds, we prevailed and SOLD OUT all of our tasty/delicious/scrumptious/palatable/edible hot dog buns!
Haha~
Here I really must give Uncle George all the credit for all the tasty/delicious/scrumptious/palatable/edible hot dog buns [definitely MORE than our's] which he made for us Balestierians all these years...
It was my remembrance of those hotdog buns that triggered off my numbskull's "ideas section" to propose a hotdog bun sale during the funfair.
Thank alot Uncle George!!
Love the hotdog buns!!
Like he's even gonna see this~~
Ok~here I resolve to thank uncle George when we go collect our results.
No matter how I do.
No use mopping over that now right???
Hmmm.....I said I made all the first shift hotdogs right?
Did I mention I started a fire too?
LOL~
How did I start the fire...it was a hell lot faster than the time when I had to start a bbq fire during ODAC camp~
You peeps want the formula?
1. Toast a bun with cheese in it on a toaster.
2. When u see alittle smoke coming off the bun, turn the bun over.
3.Now the cheese is on the under side remember??
4.Nope. You forget.
5.And the cheese becomes all chao ta and sooty.
6.Repeat the above with MORE cheese falling onto the metal thingy below the grill.
7.Ladies and Gentlemen [if they even exists in this time and age], Ladies and gentlemen[NOT], you have a fire.
I was like ,"OMG!! WAD DO I DO?? WAD DO WE DO?? HOW HOW HOW?? WHAT IF THOSE COUNCILORS SEE THIS??? HOW??????????????" .Yeah~Soke also~but not as kan chiong as I~
Luckily we had Boon Kiat and Kun Lin [SURPRISE SURPRISE!] there~
Boon kiat tried his UTMOST to calm us down while Kun Lin[yes, nose digging kun lin] took out that revolting lump of burning carbon.
Eh~scary k~~
my mother's toaster leh~
Did you think I was actually worried about the signboards catching fire?
Lol~no lah...sign board also SUPER important...I woke up at 6:30 am for that K!
Haha~
Yup, so sell-able our hotdogs were that the 3rd shift people didn't even have a chance to make the hotdogs cos they're all SOLD OUT.I repeat, SOLD OUT! Cheese first . [thanks Uncle George!!]
Later...Vanessa came! And she hugged me when I was making our so very sell-able and delicious and tasty.....hotdogs~nice of the gal eh?
Then just walked around with Krys,Van and eliz [who all FORCED me to buy their eye-ball juice.] Even later...grand aunt[XY,the male genetic makeup...lol~] came!
Haha~I thought I lost my deaaaaaaaaaaaaar KK[K700i] when I reached into my pocket and find...NO HP!!
Yeah~dropped it at 16/05's stall~
Thanks to Iza for finding O' so very precious handphone of mine.
After the whole "MY HP IS GONE" hoo haa....my grandma came! Erm, Angel I mean~
Then we pretty much just hanged around and walked around in the sweltering heat. I could literally feel my hands melting man, from the cheese that is~
Our tour around Aj saw Angel knowing quite a number of people in Aj. [Si Angel~~after 1st 3 months dun wanna cum aj~]. Turns out she was Jolene's[Kry's and Elizabeth's classmate] classmate in primary school~
Hours later....Angel and XY had to go, so I went to find SoKe they all...go sit the bloody freaky and scary and creepy VIKING!!
Lol~
Mini and pathetic lah that thing...same as the one BHSS had a few years back..
NVM~scream for fun~
In front of me, Soke Soke.
Behind me, Wan Su.
AhLong and scream queen.
OMG~~~~~~
NVM! I scream with them!
LOL~
haha~then the day pretty much ended...at 1 pm.
Lame~
NVM! I had alot of fun anyway~
And after that Soke Soke, Zi Zi,Su Su, Gang Khu[ryan, not the siao canoeing one] went to take NEOs!
We sorta cheated poor Ryan to go take Neos with us~
Shan't elarborate, makes me look bad~BWAHAHAHAHA~
Gang Khu!
SRY AH!!
Guess I am beginning to see AJ in a whole new light now .
23/05 rawks!!!
error
4:39 pm
Thursday, February 17, 2005
ME.
ME.
Just realised that there ARE some unknown strangers who read Ol' humble blog of mine.
So here's to help you strangers know me a LITTLE better.
Note ah.
A LITTLE.
Here goes...
Bold the things that apply to you.
i have a cell phone.
i have friends that use me
i am an only child.
i am a shopoholic.
i love dangly earrings.
i love cold weather.
i'm obsessed with the computer.
i have shot a gun before.
i can't live without music.
i have no tolerance of ignorant people.
i have ridden on a motorcycle before.
i'll be in this town forever.
i've been to 5 other countries.
i get annoyed easily.
i eventually want kids. [ ehh....I don't wanna think about that now~no comments~~ -.-"]
i have neat handwriting.
i have more than a few horrible memories.
i love to laugh.
i am addicted to chocolate.
i am an atheist.
my parents are strict.
i love airplane rides.
i love taking pictures.
i hate people who are fake. [don't hate them...just cannot stand them...]
i can be mean when i want to.
my parents care about my grades.
one of my best friends is a guy.
i have way too many purses.
i'm obsessed with lip gloss.
i am easy to talk to.
i would never eat raw fish.
i cry easily.
i hate when people are late. [usually I AM the one late]
i procrastinate.
i love winter.
i have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
i love to sleep.
i wish i were smarter.
i'm afraid of flying.
i hate drama.
i bite my nails.
i have been on an 8 hour drive.
i never fight with my parents. [you've got to be kidding~]
i love the beach.
i have never had the chicken pox.
i have gone out in public in my pajamas.
i can't control my emotions.
i have a strong control of my emotions.
i have a best friend.
i have moved more than once.
i truly love my friends.
i had braces.
i have never broken a bone.
i hate my computer.
i love guys that play the drums.
i state the obvious.
i'm a happy person.
i love to dance.
i love to sing.
i love cleaning my room.
i tend to get jealous very easily.
i love cute underwear.
i love night better than day. [love both.]
i don't like to study for tests.
i have been on the phone for over 5 hours.
i am too forgiving.
i have horrible sense in direction.
i miss elementary school.
i miss secondary school.
i miss being a kid.
i'm a daddy's girl.
i love kisses on my forehead.
i love the color pink.
i love to sew.
my eye color changes.
i should see a therapist.
i played on a guys sports team.
i become stressed easily.
i hate Liars
i like comfy sweatpants.
i can play the piano.
i love the smell of rain.
i love my family.
i hate needles.
i am a perfectionist.
i always wanted to learn to play the drums.
i hate the feeling of failure.
i have friends in other countries.
i know how to cook.
i can be quite selfish.at times, i still act like a little kid.
i have food allergies.
i love to read.
i wish i were more motivated for school.
i love getting stuff in the mail.
i have problems with letting go of old feelings.
i hate being alone. [sometimes]
i love summer.
i love the weekends.
i love black eyeliner.
i think im pretty.
i type with one hand.
i live in a one storey house
i wear make-up.
i have never rode on an underground subway.
i can't swim.
i have bad memories.
i go to church. [not anymore,but i'm christian and i love God.]
i sing in the shower.
i have never been camping.
i hate cheerleaders.
i usually get what i want.
i have been on stage before.
i love roller coasters.
no one knows my full story of my life.
i am close with my parents.
i don't have a curfew.
i love myself.
ps. btw....if any peep wanna link me...tell me where you're linking it to!!
[yeah it applys to you, Ryan So ! ]
bleah~
error
8:21 pm
Friday, February 11, 2005
Pink and Red Disgust.
Pink and Red Disgust.
I'm disgusted.
A swift glimpse of Friendster presented to me a screen of PINK and RED.
A brief vist to Ochard OG showed me PINK and RED hearts EVERYWHERE.
A round in Plaza Singapura saw me squeeze through seas of people.
Singles buying V-day presents for who knows who....
Angel was seen[by me] giving out PINK flyers for Vines near Novena Square.
Lol~that I don't mind~it's not everyday you seen Ms Lau holding something PINK.
Yep. Everything revolves around ONE common theme- Valentine's Day.
Sian.
And I'm not saying that cos' I have no Boyfriend.
In fact I'm quite relieved I have no boyfriend for reasons I really shouldn't state in order not to offend our Singaporean dudes.
Lalala~
Honesty is brutal.
Truth bites.
Light stings.
Understand this.
Anyway....
As I was saying...I'm utterly, most out-rightly DISGUSTED by the whole blow up of V-day this year. Even more than the previous years' crap.
Ever noticed how commercial Vday is EVERY year?
The stock markets see a sudden rise in the price of Roses.
Restaurants everywhere rush to get PINK and RED signboards outside their doors ready. Rush to plan out a dinner exclusively for TWO people. Some even throw in free violinists and champagne into the whole package.
Let me predict the oh-so-very-predictable Vday come Monday...
On that day....everyone would receive chocolates from their friends....PINK and RED packages, with red roses from their other halves and MAYBE mysterious PINK and RED gifts with no indication of who it was from .
OOOOhhhh~that'll be interesting wouldn't it? Lol~
I say this first ah.
I won't give no mysterious PINK and RED gifts with no indication that it's from me to ANYONE.
So yeah, stop dreaming already~
Joking lah! But I really wouldn't do anything as SILLY [ok what some of you peeps feel that is SWEET] as that.
Seriously....if you really love someone....
How's an internationally stated day of Romance gonna affect your celebration of love for someone else?
Yes it's a day to celebrate your deep affections for one another.....but why only on this day?
If you're in love, wouldn't everyday be a special day for you and your object of love?
What difference is another cupid's arrow in your already-cupid's arrow filled butt gonna make?
Sheesh~
Typical Singaporeans.
Ahh....Let's see.....the restaurants would all be crowded...everywhere would be packed with couples holding hands....girls comparing to see who's got the most roses....the more desperate ones buying roses for themselves then saying it's for their friends....a sudden "COUPLE-DOM" everywhere you turn.
Valentine's Day is in fact rather creepy come to think about it.
See ahh...on this day, the love confession rate will definitely soar due to the desperate fact that despos everywhere don't wanna spend V-day with a SINGLE-status.
With a rise in the confession rate, the rate of rejects made would most definitely rise too.
With a rise in the number of rejects, the rate of the lonely and depressed would rise too.
Those with weak wills might even commit suicide.
A little extreme towards the end....but it makes sense doesn't it??
Agree?
Then again I don't really care whether do you agree or not do I ?
Hold on.
Am I even supposed to have views about this whole V-day hoo haa?
I'm the Romance-intolerant remember?
Lol~
Just my two or three cents worth.
Nothing to it.
error
9:38 pm
Post Cell Destruction Thoughts.
Post Cell Destruction Thoughts.
Yay!
End-of-visiting-of-relatives-who-are-not-close-to-me-AT-ALL.
Now I sound so bloody anti-social don't I?
And to think these cousins of mine are around our age.
Ok. Almost all of them.
Ok. Almost all that I'm even willing to talk to.
There's no bad blood between us [obviously that's because we share the same blood lines..] .
But I just don't "hit off" with them.
So year after year ,ever since I can't even remember when, I was sort of the odd one out among all my cousins, the wallpaper. They have nothing to say to me, I have nothing to say to them. Pure human behavior. I understand.
So we just keep our noses off other people's business...like total strangers.
And they say that Chinese New Year is a time for family gatherings...yadah yadah...
There you have it. My dislike for the whole "bai-nian-ing" hoo haa.
But other then having just about a few thousand odd millions of cells dying at my paternal and maternal relatives' places...Graceee mummy and I went to Angel's place to bai nian. Erm,it was sort of unplanned~ We only wanted to go there to get some snacks to bring over to my place~
How did we even wind up there on the first day of the Rooster year?
One weird. SIAN.
So the 3 of us sneaked out of bai-nian-ing ,tutorials and 10 comics completion targets to go to the oh so very deserted Novena Square.
Just for the record, I was the one trying to finish 10 comics in a whooooooop~
And Grace's blue highlights.....didn't even "appear".
Just thought I'd let you peeps know~
As usual, we did what we allllllllwayyyyyysssss do whenever we meet up- Be lame and Crap!
I reckon our laughter preetttty much noise-ed up the whole of BurgerKing~
After an hour ++ there we noticed this dude from BK who kept circling our booth. Yep. He wants us out. So.......fine lah, we left that "joint" for Angel's place to get some snacks.
There we received an ang pow each ! How nice of Mr and Mrs Lau eh?
Yeah..bounced to my place after that.
Along the way we passed by one of my neighbours' place.
A large family of Malays were just leaving this Chinese Family's household.
That's quite a rare sight eh?
Ok, for ME.
It's pretty amazing. No matter how people describe Singapore as a 'Multi-racial' country....I never thought of our society as a very 'racially-cohesive' society. It's like saying "Hi" to a friend you only know by name but not by heart/mind/soul. There's no conflict between the two friends...but somehow they're just not that close. If you get what I mean anyway.
Why do I feel so?
Seriously...after 4 years of secondary education at a government school, I can name no Malay/Indian/Eurasian/any other race's school mate whom I consider a "close friend", except perhaps Krystelle. [not inclusive friends from my Primary school]
And to think one of the aims of MOE is to develop us , generation Y into a generation with stronger bonds between the different racial/religion groups. Guess in that sense they failed. Oh well...every organization has it's flaws eh? Without them what's the point in upgrading ,improvement and complaints from nosey parents.
Man, that'll be prettttty boring wouldn't it?
Anyway...we just crapped and lamed in my room until Grace had to go. Then Angel and I went to Revenue house to lame and crap instead.
Angel asked me , "What is it about Poly that you don't like?" .
This made me think...
Let me state this first. I DO NOT look down/despise/buay soong anyone from the 5 polytechnics we have. In fact I'm rather blown away by how far they've come and the 'reviews' they're getting these days from educationists at home and abroad. Not to mention the raves industrialists have been giving them lately.
Call me a 'stereotype-er', but frankly, one of the many reasons why I want to go to a JC is cos' it's more 'prestigous' as society has cruelly labeled it to be.
Lame.
I know.
And it's not as though the polys are inferior compared to the JCs. B
BUT.....due to my parents' frame of mind...they exterior-based mentality.....
I choose a JC.
Anyway you don't know me.
You don't know how I grew up.
Nope, you don't.
I had a happy and blind childhood.
But I had a omni-present father.
All I can say is, in the past, he NEVER respected or trusted me. Not once. Not even when I entered my teenage years.
Why ? I have no idea.
I wasn't THAT bad a kid in the past just the usual case of laziness and slackiness...ok...by my own standards~
So yeah...naturally I wouldn't SHINE during exams would I?
And I guess that's why I never had his respect or trust and I guess that's why I hated him so in the past...
But....ever since a sudden 'stint' of mugging I had in sec2. For the first time in my life I was actually in the top 3 for an exam[mid year], not a subject, not some lottery game .
His face simply glowed with pride when I presented to him that faithful report card.
And for the first time in my life he told me he's proud of me.
The days after that were like the happiest days I had with my father. I would deliberately stay up late just to wait for him to come home. After that we'll just talk. Politics..economics....my siblings...school....my romance intolerance....
And during one of these heart to heart talks we had it struck me that as the oldest kid of my folks I had to be responsible for my siblings .I had to be a role model for them. I set the standard.
So yeah...that pretty much explains where I got my drive to do well in my studies from. What you people fondly refer to as "MUGGER-NESS" and "XIONG-NESS" .
I really hope to stay in aj.
Not only cos' I LOVE aj.
But cos' I want to be someone my parents can be proud of.
Someone I can be proud of.
error
1:10 am
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Nobody Not Really.
Nobody Not Really.
by Alicia Keys.
Who really cares?
Who really cares when I talk?
What I feel?
What I say?
Nobody not really
Who wants to take
The time to find a stand?
I would like someone to heal me
With some empathy
That I can't find
Nobody not really
Maybe I'm invisible to the world
Is there anyone in the world even think of me
As more than just a hopeless cause
Maybe the world is not my block
My stoop
My life
My dreams
My anything, anything
Who wants to help?
Oh but she's so tired
Powerful, but you're not here
I'm alone in a big empty space with
Nobody not really
error
11:38 am
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Let Go.
Don't comment. I don't want to hear it.
I reached out.
I held on.
I waited.
But what's the point?
No there's no point.
Yet I held on.
My hand stretched out.
My voice going sore.
I was waiting.
One day I stopped.
I got tired.
I fell.
I looked up.
I looked around.
Looked everywhere.
But no.
I don't see you.
Yet I held on.
I thought so.
I thought not.
I said it.
My declaration sacrificed.
Now that's unsaid.
I can't go back.
Used to wish that I could.
But no.
Now I see it differently.
I see you with her.
I feel nothing.
Cos' I'm breathing.
The 1st time in so long.
I'm breathing.
I thought all's gone when you're gone.
Thought I was never gonna get out.
Never gonna Step up.
Never gonna Let go.
HAHA!
I did.
I did it.
I got over it.
I could finally let go.
Complication,Confusion,paranomia.
No more.
No more.
No more.
Simplicity.
That's all that I want.
So let me breathe.
error
1:29 am
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Lunar New Year Greetings.
Chinese [Lunar] New Year Eve!
Personally I don't really like CNY greetings in English due to my "cheena beliefs".
Call me antique or Conservative or whatever you people wanna lable me as but I hold onto to my traditions strongly. I'm as culturally-rooted as an Angsana is rooted to the Singaporean soils.
Then again...
Like I even care what you people think of me~
[SO MEAN!]
Haha~
But for the benefit of the "ang-moh kias" and the "I hate Cheena gang" .....
HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR TO ALL !!
Wish you all a prosperous Year of the Rooster ahead!!
Hope all of you enjoy one heck of a "harvesting-session" this year.
Also...
Don't lose sleep over all the upcoming majong or taidi sessions.
Don't neglect your health[and weight] over the numerous makan outbursts.
Don't be anti-social and not talk to any of your cousins [like me].
Don't be a wuss and cry over the sum of ang-pao money collected this year.
Lastly....
Have fun!
Be merry!
Indulge!
Chill!!
Then work off the calories when the holidays are over!!
Lol~
error
7:19 pm
Friday, February 04, 2005
Letting Things Flow.
Letting Things Flow.
For the first time in my entire blogging 'career' , I have nothing to blog about.
Nothing to be all fiery , passionate and hot-blooded about.
1 month's gone.
Chinese New Year is coming.
I didn't buy any new year clothes of my own choice cos' I was too preoccupied with school and everything else that comes attached to the whole JC-education package. My mum bought some decent looking CNY clothes for me though...t-shirts ,jeans and boardshorts....just about the only stuff I'll wear these days...can't really be bothered to dress up anyway.
Seriously, sometimes I really doubt the feminine side of myself.
My feminity.
Does it even exist?
1stly, I absolutely HATE shopping for clothes[at least for the past few months and still going on..]
2ndly, I have just about zero comments/feelings/thoughts/emotions towards the things that you people refer to as 'romantic', 'sweet','sensitive'. In fact they kind of repel from me. Or is it the other way round? Dunno. Didn't bother to pick a side.
3rdly, you'll almost NEVER heard me complimenting let alone gush about any dude which you gals label as "WAHH SOOOOO SHUAI!"or "WAHHHH SOOOO CUTE!". Not that I'm not vocal.
But if you know me realllllllllllllllllllllllly extremelllllllllllllllly welllllll...
I don't find any dude shuai or cute.
It's not that my standards are very high...
I simply have no standards set to judge a dude's looks.
So yeah~you'll probably never hear/see/sense me gushing about any dude.
Rather Bochap in that field.
Even Angel gushes about "shuai footballers" and "HANDSOME" co-workers.
*Shrugs*
Don't see any sense in gushing anyway.
I'm not targeting any groups of people, but I honestly find people gushing over someone else's looks laughable.
I really laugh at them.
Can't help it.
Didn't try not to anyway~
Ahhh~I'm so very mean. I know~
It's a gift you know~
Not many people can be that open about their own meanness.
3 weeks to the arrival of our damned, stomach-churning, gut-tickling O'level results.[Sorry to spoil the day for those who didn't know that the O'level results are coming,but yeah. It'll be out around the 24-29th February.]
And I'm having second thoughts about my subject combination.
Then again, I'm having second thoughts about my chosen stream too~
Anyway~~~
Today everyone from 2305 wore their school ties the entire day. Some swapped ties, but I wasn't very keen on wearing the Catholic High tie so I just settle for PHS's tie and good Ol' BHSS's tie. I'll maybe get BHSS's prefect tie from krystelle next week~have a taste of 'prefectorial-ness' around my neck for a day. Lol~
Anyway~today during Mass Civics, we viewed this video showing the interviews of a few ex-AJCians. One of them our dear Ol' 'All Star' ! Errmm....for the benefit of those who don't know who All Star is...she's my economics tutor. Even though she's only taught me for a month...I dare say she's one of the best teachers I've ever had . Very young and fresh out of University...but her enthusiasm and sheer energy is enough to push anyone towards working hard for Economics.
Yep, one of the most 'enthu' and 'ON' teachers I've ever had.
One line from the interview which struck me the hardest was this, "I always work towards what's beyond my limits. Only then do I call that a goal, an aim, a target...."
This made me wonder.....
Am I working towards my goal?
My aim?
My target?
Or am I simply too afraid of my own limits set by myself to even take that leap forward ?
Perhaps I'm even too chicken to admit to my dreams.
"To get to the top, you must let go of something...." , one of my ODACian seniors screamed at me just the other day... She/he [can't remember] was telling me to let go to step up the rock wall...
Wow.
I never thought there was more meaning into climbing like some lizard with no suction forces on it's feet on some wall with colourful pop-outs here and there.
But....until time calls for me to take that flight, that step up....I reckon I really should root myself to sweet ol' AJC and work on making my JC-educational package work out for me.
Next target : climb atop that damned rockwall I failed to conquer on Wednesday!
Did I mention I was voted Best speaker for my class's Speak Ezee session? [Speak Ezee is like a sort of presentation everyone has to make...a speech on anything that you feel strongly about...].
error
6:35 pm
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Waiting On The Sun.
Waiting On The Sun.
by Sixpence None The Richer
I'm going nowhere
And I'm going to take my time
All the questions in the world
I can leave in my mind
I'm waiting on the sunshine
The sunshine
I'm waiting for answers
I'm waiting to figure it out
I trip over my chances
I slip through my doubt
I'm going nowhere
And I'm going to take my time
All the questions in the world
I can leave in my mind
I'm waiting on the sunshine
The sunshine
The sunshine
Well it seems that my weakness
Is sometimes my only strenght
And in my incompleteness
You get your way
I'm going nowhere
And I'm going to take my time
All the questions in the world
I can leave in my mind
I'm waiting on the sunshine
The sunshine
The sunshine
I'll be around
And I will find my way back down
Cannot sing the sound
Of the sun
I'm going nowhere
And I'm going to take my time
Allthe questions in the world
I can leave in my mind
I'm waiting on the sunshine
The sunshine
The sunshine
The sunshine
error
8:05 pm