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08121988
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Saturday, December 25, 2004

Great Grand Mother.

Great Grand Mother.


Yesterday, I went to Ju Eng Old Folks Home.
I went there to visit my Great Grand Mother. She's over 90++ and alittle senile. All of my relatives don't know how to look after her, don't have the ability to be with her 24/7 , don't know how to give her the care she needs, that's why she's there.

They said that she refuses to eat.
They said that she might be leaving us soon.

Honestly, all I remember of my great grand mother is how lovely I felt whenever she talked to me. Nevermind the fact that i didn't understand any of it back then. I just felt kinda peaceful whenever I'm with her. Her hand made quilts were beautiful. Don't know what happened to mine though.

I didn't recognise her yesterday.I didn't want to recognise her yesterday. There lying in front of me was this skinny scrawny lady who was being feed through a tube leading into her oesophagus.

Her frail hands were covered up by huge paddings to prevent her from hurting herself and others. Her body was so bony and fragile that we were afraid to shake too much, afraid that she might just crumple into dust. She seemed to have so much difficulty just breathing that she had no energy to even open her eyes to look at us.

I know what I'm going type is gonna be disagreed by half of the world right now , but I don't give a damn about that right now.

Why force her to keep hanging on when that's the very thing that's robbing her of her life? Why keep her in a World of darkness and fear when she'll have Peace and light in the other World? Why keep her alive when it's making her die?

I don't like that Old Folks place.
Grand Mothers and Fathers staring at each other across a table. Painful coughs from the background. Angst crying from the other end. The only thing alive there is the wind blowing in it's breeze.

My grand mother repeatedly asked her whether she wanted to go home. Until my great grand mother finally grunted a hokkien yes. Or at least that's how they interpreted it.

Great Grand Mother was tearing.
My mum was sobbing silently.
My grand mother's eyes were glossy.
I prayed. I don't know what to pray for but I still prayed .

I prayed for my Great Grand Mother.
I asked my God what I could do to help.

Merry Christmas.









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