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Tuesday, December 21, 2004

God is God.

God Is God.

It was all about a man
It was all about a cross
It was all about the blood that was shed so I would not be lost
It was all about a love
That was bigger than a life
It was all about the freedom that was given through
Your sacrifice
'Cause You would rather die
Than to ever live without me

And He would.
That's what's so amazing about God.
He gave it all for us.

Saw this quote while I was surfing the net.

I miss my God.
Haven't been going to church for almost half a year.
Don't know why I don't go actually. Just didn't 'feel' like it.

Maybe it was the dreadful/distasteful/irritating/annoying/choking/saddening/stressful O's. Made me think that studying would be more important.That my God would understand. That it was ok.

Or maybe it was simply because I've lost what I always found in the house of God. Something I don't even know is what. Whatever it was...it's gone.

"Then go to church lah, so simple. "

I don't want to. I didn't want to. The church didn't give me answers to the so many questions I had. Didn't heal me of my pain.Didn't open my eyes towards Him.I don't feel His presence there anymore. Was it because I closed myself to him? I don't know anymore.

Perhaps I don't know myself anymore. Don't know how I feel about anything anymore.

So many questions. Which one is actually mine?

Have you ever had the feeling that all your questions are that of someone else? None of which really came from yourself?

Haha~

Seriously,I don't feel loved anymore. Not by my God. I know he still does as He always had,but I just don't sense it anymore.

Maybe my senses have been working overtime, maybe just rusty, who knows ?

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5:30 pm