CREDITS
designer:haryani
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Denial.
Denial.
The world tells us to live in reality.
But living in reality means
More pain.
More sorrow.
More suffering.
Maybe the fact is we NEED denial.
Denial : a fact or a foe?
I've been keeping to myself for a real long time. It's not as though I have no one to confide in. Just didn't fancy the idea of drowning on someone else's sunny day. Didn't want to burden anyone else.
Another reason why I don't usually show any of you how unhappy I am is because of the sheer stupidity and silliness of it and how I just deny my sad thoughts from myself.
Don't worry though,today wasn't a sad day. It was more of a mellow and slow day. The kind you just want to keep to yourself,be away from all that noise and in another world of yourself. The kind that makes you think about your history,your past and generally life.
Cleared all of my shelves,in fact my whole room of all the books I sooo loathed yet depended greatly on for my paper war.
Note : Anyone who needs any secondary 3/4/5 books to prepare for O's come and find me...Don't think my sis would be able to use any of my books anyway.
After that I went to Spinellis to have coffee and cookie with Angel. Hmm...the vanila latte I had was not bad....one of the best I've had. Seriously I think that Spinelli should just stick to it's hot drinks and not fight Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf or Starbucks for the ice blended market~~
Anyway,there we just chatted . It was real nice...coffee,cookie,someone who'd listen...
What did we talk about? What I was denying all along.
Nah. Can't tell you peeps about it. Too private. Too heart-wrenching.
Besides,there's nothing to it.
Nothing at all. I think.
Sometimes I really wonder whether denial of what bothers you the most is a good thing or a bad thing?
A good thing cos' you don't get to feel the pain. It's like a depressant,killing all feeling and emotion.
A bad thing cos' everything's so super cheery,happy,light and flurry that it feels fake. Tastes like artificially made apple juice. Too sweet, too stomach-churning. Feels like a lie. And I really hate to lie to myself.
So yeah...I contradict myself on just about everything.
In this world there are those who choose to shut themselves from truth. They simply dismiss Satan's Lies as the truth.
Then again.
Is that a denial?
Or is that a belief?
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